Hooked // C.H (completed)

twenty-five

< August >
< Saturday 8th >

{ Adley }

I have to move back into the dorms today. Calum's helping me move in.

It's been a few weeks since the miscarriage. Calum and I are still a mix of emotions. A lot of people don't know. Roy and our parents are the only ones who know about it. Calum and I are still processing things. I've been beating myself up over not knowing I was pregnant. If I had just known, I wouldn't have played off that stupid appendix for so long.

Sometimes Calum and I will talk about what our baby might have looked like or what they'd be like. I pictured them looking like Calum. Calum says they'd look like me. They'd like both sports and music and would get to travel the world with us both.

It seems to help us sometimes to talk about it. The first time we ever did it was when we were just trying to mask the pain and got drunk off our minds. We fell asleep out back that night and woke up with it pouring down rain.

The miscarriage destroyed us mentally but Calum and I haven't let go of each other. We've made sure we stay positive for the most part but also remember what we could have had.

****

I woke up slowly and stretched out then went to curl into Calum's side, but he wasn't there.

I got out of bed and walked down the hall to find him in the living room watching a soccer game and drinking coffee while Duke curled up next to him,

"Good morning" Calum spoke, setting his coffee down and opening his arms. I sat on his lap facing him and pushed my face into his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, knowing I had a bad night. I kept waking him up too and I felt bad,

"Did you have the dream again?" He asked and I nodded. Starting a week ago, I've been having a dream about Calum, me, and a baby. In the dream, it's Calum and I as happy parents, but then our baby dies tragically. The death is all sorts of things too. One night it was a car wreck and the next it was a disease.

"Maybe you should see someone" Calum whispered. I shook my head no. I felt him sigh then kiss my temple,

"I love you" I mumbled

"I love you too" he responded with a kiss, "What time do you move in again?"

"3:00" I groaned. I don't want to move back to the dorms but I know I need to. It's better for basketball. But I don't know if I can do it mentally. I'm still a mess and use Calum as my comfort. I know I shouldn't be so reliable but right now, I need him,

"Then how about we have a nice breakfast and just relax until we have to go. It's not like we have to pack cars- we did that yesterday" he suggested. I pulled back with a smile and nodded.

****

Calum and I drove separately to my dorm but parked next to each other by the door. I got out and looked at the building sighing,

"You okay?" Calum asked as he opened both our trunks,

"I guess" I sighed and started grabbing things.

This year my dorm was a lot nicer. Miya and I have one that has two small bedrooms and a shared kitchen and bathroom.

Twenty minutes later everything was in my dorm and now Calum and I were unpacking things. He made my bed up while I unpacked all my clothes, smiling when I saw he had slipped some of his clothes in for me to wear.

"When does Miya move in?" Calum asked, sitting on the floor next to me,

"Next week" I sighed,

"Why don't you just stay with me until she moves in?" Calum suggested, "I just don't know if you should be on your own yet"