I'm With You. ~ Elizabeth Olsen

Bubble Beards.

Y/N POV
"MK I'm fucking tired and I have an appointment to get to." I complain when I come out in another outfit. We are doing an extra long session today since I missed yesterdays while we traveled back from Vermont.

"We are almost done." She assures me and I sigh in relief.

"So we hear our father is coming to town this weekend." Ashley starts and I nod while biting my lip anxiously. "How do you feel about that?" She asks when I don't offer any comment.

"Scared. But Lizzie keeps telling me he's the one that should be afraid. He's coming to make amends so he can go to the wedding." I explain.

"Honestly, with how pissed Lizzie was I'm surprised she's even allowing it." MK adds in.

"Yeah, that was a mess. He's way too protective sometimes. But, hopefully he owns up to his shit." Ashley explains.

"Yeah, I really want it to go well so Lizzie can have him there. I know she wants him there and is putting up this front for me but the truth is I want him there too. She deserves the perfect wedding." I ramble and sigh when MK pokes me. She whispers a sorry and continues adjusting the shirt.

"Y/N, all Lizzie wants is to marry you. Who's there and what it looks like doesn't matter." Ashley assures me and I shrug.

"It matters to me. She deserves the world." They both give me smirks and I roll my eyes. The rest of the session isn't too bad but I have to rush downtown to get to my appointment with Linda. I stumble into the office and give my name before sitting on one of the chairs in the waiting area.

"Y/N, go on back." the receptionist tells me and I stand right back up and march into Linda's office.

"Linda! I have a shit ton of stuff to tell you about." I tell her as I sit down. I notice her amused smile and give her a confused look back.

"Nice to see you too Y/N." She teases and I smile.

"It's great to see you, honestly. I have a lot to talk about. I had a panic attack and a flashback at my gig last weekend and then I went to Vermont to visit mom and that brought up a lot of past trauma because I ran into my father who called Lizzie and I some hateful words and I shoved him. And then I had some internalized homophobia while out on the lake and pushed Lizzie away like an asshole. It's been a lot." I ramble and she notes down a few things.

"What would you like to start with?" She asks and I sigh.

"Probably the panic attack. It's bad." I admit and she motions for me to continue. "Well, my in ear monitors slipped out while we were performing and it made me feel all weird and my head started to hurt. And then Lizzie was there to comfort me and the band manager was all like we will figure out a way to make sure that doesn't happen again and I felt like I messed up and it was all my fault." I rush out.

"Y/N, breathe. Take your time." She reminds me and I nod. I take a few deep breaths and continue.

"So I was on edge and had to get out so I left out the stage door for some air." I continue.

"When did you leave?" She asks when I pause.

"After our manager talked to us and Jerry told me it wasn't my fault. I felt horrible for not playing well and just felt really shitty." She nods for me to continue. "Scarlett followed me out and she talked me down a little bit. But, she reached back to give me my sticks and the movement was so similar to how Trey's dad pulled out the gun. I couldn't see Scarlett anymore, it was him. I moved away and she reminded me it was her." I explain.

"So you saw Mr. Gomez but could hear Scarlett?" She clarifies and I nod.

"When she realized I was freaking out she ran inside to find Lizzie. I just sat on the ground in a ball with my hands over my ears and then my eyes telling myself I was okay and trying to focus on what was really going on. Lizzie came out and I realized other people were looking at me so I asked to go home. I felt even more horrible." I sigh and lean forward to pick up a spinner.