I'm With You. ~ Elizabeth Olsen

Nightmares.

**** Talk about nightmares ****
Y/N POV
I hold my breath when I hear the words and watch as she searches my face for my reaction. "You don't have to baby." I reply, afraid that bringing them up will only hurt her.

"I want to. I. I was supposed to a long time ago. Please?" She requests and I nod, set down my journal, and turn to give her my full attention. "Um, do you know what the show is about?" She asks.

"It was about a murder right?" I check and she nods.

"Candy Montgomery murdered her friend while having an affair with her husband. She left her infant daughter in her crib. She claimed it was self defense because Betty came after her when she found out about the affair. She um. She hit her with an axe 41 times. She apparently suffered from childhood trauma which was the cause of her rage as an adult and was found not guilty." She explains and I swallow at how scary the story is. "It was so emotionally taxing that my mind couldn't handle it. I was so tired from filming Sorry For Your Loss and crying every day to being this layered person that murdered her friend. My mind was out of control." She explains her state of mind and my heart breaks. Now I feel bad for being so mad about her not telling me.

"You don't have to explain, I have a feeling I know where this is going." I whisper.

"I have to. I need to get it out." She urges and I nod, letting her continue. "So, with all the exhaustion my dreams went wild. Instead of the character on the show the events played out with us in various different ways, but every time you ended up hurt. I was a monster and I just kept hurting you. It wasn't even always murder. At first it was exactly like the show but it changed into other stuff. Sometimes it was telling you I didn't need you or pushing you away. I just kept hurting you. The worst was cheating on you with Robbie." She shares and my chest tightens.

"In your dream." I clarify.

"Yes, oh my god I would never. I woke up every night with the image of your broken face in my mind. I knew it was all fake but I was afraid of what it all meant. I thought I had those urges myself and it was scary to me that I could be capable of those things. I questioned who I was and until I got help I thought I was going crazy. But I couldn't tell anyone because I was afraid to become that person. That monster. I was trapped." She explains and I swear I hear my heart shatter. "So after what happened today, I just. I felt that guilt again. The loss of control and fear of what I am capable of." She concludes, explaining her intense reaction to what happened.

"Baby, you are incapable of hurting people. You couldn't even hurt a fly, maybe a snail or two, but my point is you are not some rage monster just waiting to snap. You're my Angel. My sweet, gentle, caring, Angel and I never thought that you were capable of the type of things you described. I still don't." I try and she nods.

"I did tell you I don't need you, and I have pushed you away." She points out and I shrug.

"So? It happened, we got over it and we are stronger now. I don't hold any grudges for anything that has happened in the past. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that by yourself. And next time, if a project is that grueling can you please back out of it?" I request and she nods. "So how are you now? How do you feel?" I ask wanting to know if she needs more support.

"I'm much better compared to then. And I feel a lot better now that it's out there. I feel like I've been keeping this huge secret and my chest feels lighter. I haven't had any intense dreams like that for a long time. I'm okay." She confirms and I smile lightly. I lean over and kiss her forehead. "Can we cuddle now? I really need to cuddle." She requests cutely and I nod. I shuffle up to sit against the headboard and she hugs around my hips to rest her head on my stomach. I hold up my journal with one hand as I write with the other, getting out all the emotions from the last hour or so. I smile when I feel her tracing my derpy thigh tattoo and she slowly opens up my robe to leave sweet kisses all over my tummy. It's innocent and sweet and I can't help but smile.