To Be Depressed

Bullying's Like A Cycle

Bullying is never okay.

That's something everyone understands - even the bullies themselves, I'm sure.

Bullying breaks people inside.

The bullies are already broken inside.

I got bullied when I was very young, because of my name.

My name isn't weird, or unique, or different. I just happened to share it with something that was popular at the time and apparently that's funny.

It wasn't funny for me.

It wasn't funny for the person hiding in the toilets, curled up on the seat, crying.

It wasn't funny for the person nobody noticed.

The truth is, if I had let those particular bullies see me cry they would have stopped.

They weren't bad people, they just didn't understand that their words did hurt.

Although it did last a few years, in hindsight it was never that bad. I was just weak, and that's okay.

It's okay to be affected by bullying.

I was affected, not that I realized it for a while.

Soon, when I got frustrated with people, I didn't know how to react and I often lashed out and hurt them.

This isn't just a side effect of bullying, there are other aspects involved, but the bullying did play its part.

Me simply lashing out and yelling was fine, but sometimes the people were young. I was still quite young myself.

The aggression itself wasn't that bad, it could have been easily controlled if someone had noticed. But it was me doing it.

The quiet person.

The shy person.

The person who gets her head down and does the work.

The person who never breaks the rules - or so they thought.

By this time I had found a friend. Not just a group to hang around with, a best friend.

But my best friend wasn't a good influence, not at all.

He taught me how to break the rules.

I soon found out something important, I was good at it.

And still are, in all honesty. To this day - with the exception of home - I still get away with everything. The only difference is now I've changed.

But we're getting to that bit...

Now I was getting older, I wasn't a child anymore and the teenage years were fast approaching.

I kept my aggressive streak, although it didn't show at all really for a while.

It was a couple of years in when I turned into the one thing I had promised myself I would never be.

I became a bully.

I know you're all probably going to stop reading now and leave, which is fine.

I still tried to be a nice person, and I always regretted it, but I just couldn't stop.

Like I said before, there were many aspects involved - even more so by now - and this was away for me to take it all out on other people.

I wanted to know I wasn't alone in the pain I was feeling.

And I had been taught the this was an okay way to deal with things.

It's not.

Have you ever met people that aggravate you so much it's like you're allergic to them? An itch you just can't scratch?

At this time, I met many people like this - people who I'm now actually friends with!

These were the people I bullied, although I refused to admit it at the time.

Hitting/punching.

Verbal abuse.

Insulting their family.

Insulting their intelligence.

Embarrassing them in front of the class.

The list goes on...

Then we went away for summer one year, my bullying had lasted maybe a year or two - it was so long ago I lose track now.

I came back nicer, calmer, more at peace with everyone.

I honestly can't tell you why I changed, I can just tell you that I did.

Something so extremely glad of.

What you have just read, is the cycle of bullying.

It's not the case of call examples, but it is the case for many.

You bully someone, then they bully someone and it goes on and on.

It's why bullying still exists.

There are any forms of bullying, this is just one.

I have shared my story for the #NoMoreBullying campaign!

You can see their account NoMoreBullying to become apart of this campaign too!

Be that 10% who takes action!

I tag fallenoutlaw0599, Charlotte_High, amberodell, osnapitzisis and every single of one you to join in with the campaign.

Seen the account for details about how.

Bullying's like a cycle, and it's our job to end it!