A Stranger To Him

Sixty-one, Skipping town with mixed feelings

Caine Williams

I sigh deeply as I put the last things in my suitcase. I check my room to see if I have everything I need. Some boxes are standing in front of my bathroom door that needs to come with me, but other than those boxes and my three suitcases, there's nothing else I need. I checked every drawer in my room to see if I need anything, but there's nothing else I need. Some shit of mine is going to be standing here just in case I get back.

"Are you sure you're making the right decision? I know things between you and Amelia have been hard, but that doesn't mean there isn't another way to figure it out." Ryan sighs, looking around the room. It looks impersonal now that I have gathered all my personal belongings.

I know he doesn't agree with my decision at all, but I don't need his permission to do what I'm about to do. All I need is his support when I take this heartbreaking decision. Even though he doesn't agree with my decision, I know I'll have his full support. I know he thinks there might be other ways to fix this, but I think this is the best decision to make.

Even if that means I'll break her heart.

"It's the best decision I can make, Ryan. I know you think there might be another way to fix this, but you don't see what I saw. I'm hurting her, Ryan. I'm hurting her so badly, and I need to stop doing it." I sigh, letting myself fall onto my bed.

"I can only fix this by telling her what we've kept hidden ever since we met them. You know just as well as I do that we can't tell her anything now. I've already put her life on the line, and I'm not risking her safety too." I say, feeling the bitterness inside me.

"I hope you know what the consequences of this decision might be. You'll have to leave the only woman you've ever loved and cared for in your entire life because we got ourselves in this fucked up shit two years ago." Ryan says, giving me a sad look.

That's the fucked up part about all of this. I'll have to leave the woman I truly love behind because I made dumb decisions in the past. I know it doesn't help to blame myself for it, but I can't help it. I can't help but think about how things would be if I hadn't made the decision two years ago.

Would I have been her boyfriend, the love of her life?

It doesn't matter if I think about it because there's no reason to do so. The past is the past, and there's no way I can change it. I wish I could, but I can't. I'll have to deal with it because I made these stupid decisions. I was enormously dumb and careless back then. I was as cold as ice, and I showed no emotions in anything I did, but she brought it all back.  She brought back my old self and my emotions, and I appreciate it a lot. She makes me want to be a better man for her, she brings out the best of me.

But I can't be the best of me when I'm constantly reminded by the voice in my head that keeps saying I'm bringing her in danger. I know I shouldn't have talked to her after she bumped into me. Hell, I shouldn't even have been interested in her when I saw her the first time, but I was. Something about the way she spoke and did things intrigued me, and I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She's drop-dead gorgeous in a way I've never seen before.

"Yes, I know. I know I'll have to leave the girl I've ever loved, and I will love for eternity. I know in my heart that I'll never be able to love anyone else because she's the only girl I'll ever love. Nevertheless, I have to do this because I can't stand to see her hurt." I say, running my hands through my hair out of frustration.