Blood and Roses || Lee Taeyong

Chapter 32 | "stay with me"

Chaerin had spent the whole day locked in her room. When Taeyong brought her home, she hadn't spoken a word to anyone, just running up the stairs and slamming her door shut.

With a heavy heart, Taeyong explained the situation to the boys, all of them agreeing to give her space for a bit to process everything.

Her whole body was trembling, her mind too frantic to even think about fighting back the shake in her muscles. Her eyes were red from all the crying, no tears able to come out anymore. She sat there, wrapped in her fluffy blanket in complete silence. Chaerin didn't even know what to do with herself, her emotions on some sort of freeze with a blank mind filled with nothing but darkness.

"Chaerin?" She heard a voice call, snapping her out of it. "It's Yuta, can I come in?"

She didn't respond, just burying herself further into her blanket in an attempt to hide from reality.

"I know you're awake, Chae, I can hear your sniffles." He said with a huff, a playful yet soft tone in his voice.

She still didn't reply, shutting her eyes tightly and trying to disappear into her covers.

"You know I'm coming in one way or another." He called again.

When he didn't hear a response he let out a deep sigh, taking a step back before kicking the lock on her door. With a small smile, he pushed open the door, his eyes softening as he saw the blanket mountain that was Chaerin.

"Oh Chae, I'm so sorry." He said quietly, going to sit on the edge of her bed. "Do you want a hug?"

He watched as the blankets rustled, slowly parting to reveal a red-eyed, puffy-faced Chaerin nodding at him. He quickly leaned over, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"How are you doing?" He asked softly as he released her from her hug.

"Not good." She croaked out.

"I know Chae, you don't deserve this." He sighed. "You should come eat something, do you want to see the guys?"

"Sure." She mumbled, her eyes filled with nothingness as she stood from her seat.

With a small smile, Yuta took her hand and led her out of her room. As they made their way down the stairs, she saw all the guys waiting for her, a heavy silence as they noticed her.

Jaehyun was the first one to speak up, walking over and wrapping his arms around her small frame.

"We're here for you if you need anything." He whispered, stroking her back gently.

She pulled away, mustering up her best attempt at a smile before taking a seat on the couch between Kun and Doyoung.

The atmosphere was tense, none of the boys truly knowing what to do as they knew there was nothing that could be said to bring her family back. They shifted nervously as she stared into space, too disconnected from reality to even feel the awkward tension in the room.

Taeyong stood to the side, leaning against the wall and watching her closely. He noticed the slight tremble in her shoulders, the shakiness of her breaths. It was all too familiar for him and he knew she was seconds away from snapping.

"Chaerin?" Ten asked quietly. "Do you need anything?"

Very slowly she turned to look at him, her gaze dark and empty. She shut her eyes tightly for a moment before refocusing on him and the boys around her. She slowly looked around before shaking her head.

"I need to get out of here." She whispered.

"What?"

"I have to go."

She quickly stood from her seat and ran towards the door. The boys all rose from their seats, about to stop her when Taeyong help up a hand.

"Let her go." He said quietly, all the boys freezing before the sound of a door slamming shut echoed through the room.

"Taeyong-"

"Shh. I'll go talk to her." He said, quickly pushing off the wall and walking out after her.

He had a feeling he knew where she'd be, following a familiar path through the garden until he reached a clearing. In the center was a small pond and a carved stone bench, the same one they had sat and talked on the first day they became friends.

He let out a small sigh of relief as he saw her shaking body hunched over on the seat, quickly making his way over to her. He didn't say anything, instead simply taking a seat next to her and waiting. After a few minutes, she let out a deep sigh.

"I don't know what to do, Taeyong." She whispered. "I can't handle this lifestyle."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you were right when you said I'm not cut out for it." She replied, turning to face him. "I have no one left, and I won't be able to handle seeing one of you get hurt. I need to go."

"Don't give up yet. Please." He said quietly, gently gripping onto her hand as he felt the emotions inside of him bubble to the surface. "There's so much of the world left for you to explore, experiences you can't imagine, beauty that you can't even fathom. It's all out there for you to see, and I can help you see it. Let me show you."

"I lost my family, Taeyong."

"I know, but you have us. You shouldn't have to be alone right now, even if you need your space. We'll keep you safe and we'll be here for you." He said, the fear and desperation clear in his voice. "You have a whole life ahead of you, Chaerin. You're strong and determined and good, you will make it through this. And as selfish as this is, I want to be there to show you all the things that this world has to offer once you do."

"I don't know, Taeyong-"

"Do you trust me?" He asked, searching for some sign of emotion in her eyes.

She stared up at him, the darkness in her eyes briefly parting to reveal a hint of the sparkle he'd grown to love. Very slowly she nodded, and though her expression seemed unsure, her eyes were certain.

"Then don't go. Stay with us. Stay with me, and let me help you."

She paused, turning away from him and letting out a deep sigh.

"Okay."

"Okay?" He asked hopefully.

"Okay. But I'm gonna need space. I don't really know what to do with myself right now."

"Whatever you need, whatever you want." He replied, pulling her into his arms.

"I'll be okay."

"Yes you will be."

As the words left her mouth she knew she didn't mean them. It left a sour taste on her tongue to lie to Taeyong because she knew that right then, she was anything but okay.