Blood and Roses || Lee Taeyong

Chapter 43 | "we all go a little crazy"

The ride home was silent. Neither one of them daring to speak, or even look, at one another. Taeyong's eyes were trained on the road ahead of them, his hands tightly gripping the wheel while Chaerin stared blankly out the window into the darkness.

She wasn't scared of him, that was only for a brief moment. In fact, she was relieved. Beyond relieved. She was ecstatic to even be in a car with him, especially driving back home. But she was aware of what he'd just gone through and the emotional torment that was probably going on inside of him, and she didn't want to set him off again or make it worse. So she sat there in silence.

Taeyong on the other hand was panicked. Beyond panicked, he was terrified by what just went down. He was absolutely disgusted by his own behavior, something that he'd never felt before. He was disappointed in how he lost control after working so hard to fight his demons. And mostly, he was horrified that Chaerin had to see it. See that side of him.

He knew she knew it existed. And he knew that without her, he wouldn't have stopped. But the look in her eye, the pure fear on her face, it was an image he couldn't shake. He'd killed plenty of times and not given it a second thought, even now he didn't feel one ounce of guilt or remorse for his victims. But what he did feel, was for Chaerin.

He took glances at her every now and then but she just continued staring out the window. Unsure of what to do, he sat there in silence, convinced that he'd lost her forever.

As they pulled into the garage, Taeyong could see all the lights in the house on and no doubt he'd have a lot of explaining to do. As they stepped out of the car, he turned to face Chaerin, wanting to say something when the door to the garage slammed open.

"Taeyong, we need to talk. Now." Jaehyun demanded, Johnny, Taeil, Kun and Mark quickly ushering him into the house.

The leader glanced over his shoulder at Chaerin as Yuta and Doyoung approached her, but was quickly whisked away into a meeting before he could even say anything.

"You alright, Chae?" Yuta asked, pulling her into a hug. "Was it bad?"

"It was pretty bad." She chuckled out. "But nothing I couldn't handle. I'm just glad I was able to get through to him even with the state he was in."

"You must have some crazy effect over him, I don't know how you do it." Doyoung said with a shake of his head. "All of us, and I literally mean all of us, have tried to get through to him before but it's never worked, especially not mid-rampage."

"He didn't hurt you or anything, right?" Yuta asked, searching her skin for any wounds or cuts.

"Oh god no, of course not." She exclaimed quickly. "Even in his demon mode, he would never."

Yuta and Doyoung shared a glance but quickly waved it off, throwing their arms over her shoulders and quickly pulling her inside.

- - -

After getting a lecture from the senior members and team leaders, Taeyong was exhausted. His head was buzzing as emotions swirled inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to just get a comforting hug from Chaerin. For her just to tell him it's all okay.

But he didn't know if she'd even look at him.

Wanting to clear his head, and with a slight bit of hope in the back of his mind, he made his way out to the garden. He rushed down a familiar path until he reached their clearing, his breath catching in his throat as he saw Chaerin's familiar figure sitting there. After letting out a deep sigh, Taeyong stepped forward.

"Chaerin?" He called out, seeing her turn to look at him. "I'm sorry."

He watched as her eyes widened in shock, rising from her seat and walking over to him. He wanted nothing more than to run to her, to hold her in his arms, but scaring her again was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that and come save me and... and for everything." He said softly. "Please don't hate me, I promise I'll be better. And I know I scared you, but I swear that I'd never hurt you."

"Oh Taeyong, I know. I know you wouldn't. I'd trust you with my life." She exclaimed, quickly crossing the ground between them and pulling him into a hug. "When I saw you, I wasn't scared of you because I hated you or thought you'd hurt me. I was scared I wouldn't be able to get you back."

She let him go, wiping a tear off his cheek with her thumb as she stared up at him. She could see the sadness in his eyes, but also relief at her touch.

"You don't need to change, okay? Only if you want to. And know that I'm here for you, through the good and the bad." She said reassuringly. "We all go a little crazy sometime, it happens and it's okay. You just need to know that when it happens to you, I'll be here to help you through it."

He nodded, too overwhelmed to say anything as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"-and, I'll still be here for you no matter what you do. It doesn't change how I look at you, none of this does. If anything, it makes me like you more to see how you were able to walk away. That took a lot of courage." He nodded again, his eyes brimming with tears, touched by her compassion for him. "And at this point you should know that it takes a lot more than some blood and growls to scare me away." She chuckled lightly.

"Thank you, Chaerin."

"Just... repaying the favor. You talked me off a rampage once, remember? I guess it seems like we need each other." She said softly.

"Yeah, I guess we do..."