Rainbow - BTS

39 - Blue

sometimes i wonder what i'd be if things were different
paint me another way, show me 
what the world looks like through filtered glasses
promise me the stars and the sky they live in 
give me nothing but fallen hopes,
let me fall down to bare earth

whatever you do, don't let me believe 
don't let me believe i can be more
more than myself, more than one shade 
after all, the world only exists in black and white.

right? 

"You have to promise you won't laugh." Namjoon tilts his head, several emotions flickering through his eyes for a moment, before he settles on quiet, respectful concern. The green in front of him is practically shaking with nerves, his grip tight around the frame of a canvas that's held tight to his chest, so that nothing is visible through the material. 

Namjoon still doesn't fully know why Jungkook called him, early in the morning, begging him to come for a visit, to talk about something that he was thinking about. Even now, as the green stands in front of him, he's not sure if the art is the only thing on Jungkook's mind. If there's anything else troubling the insomniac. 

"Why would I laugh at you?" the blue responds simply, his voice soft as always. For a moment, a flash of recognition sparks across Jungkook's face, at the tone of voice that Namjoon used to use when Jungkook was at his worst, the tone of voice that makes him feel most at ease.

 Whenever he curled up, shaking, begging for the world to let him just be what he wanted to be, Namjoon was somehow there, one hand on his back, that same tone of voice echoing in his eyes, asking him to just breathe, just focus on the ground below his feet. Asking him to name something he could see, something he could hear. Anything at all. 

"I don't know," Jungkook responds, just as softly, his hands relaxing a little, his hunched position softening ever so slightly. "I just....I just think this is kind of stupid, and I understand if you feel the same way."

"Kook, nothing you do is stupid," the blue murmurs, his fingers curling around the smooth surface of the coffee mug set in front of him. It's gone cold now, the very last dregs of the drink still waiting to be drunk, and the comforting warmth that the blue ceramic once offered him is gone. His index finger taps once, the sound muted and oddly calming. "I won't judge you, I swear it." The faintest hint of an amused smile crosses over his face for a second. "I swear on Yoongi's cats, I won't laugh." 

Jungkook's anxious demeanour fully shatters at that, breaking into still-nervous-sounding laughter, and Namjoon's smile widens a little at the gentle sound. "Okay," the green mutters, half to himself, his hands tightening a little on the very edges of the canvas. "I should give you some context. I've been working on a series of paintings that reflect people in my life, and how I view them. There's one about you, about Hoseok and Yoongi, about Jin, about all of you." 

"Is this one relating to me?" Namjoon asks next, his interest piqued. Jungkook smiles a little sheepishly, shaking his head, and the blue fakes a disappointed expression. "Will I ever see it, do you think?" 

"Well, I've approached Hoseok about the possibility of publishing it as my own art book, of sorts," Jungkook admits shyly, shifting the painting so he can run a hand through his hair. "So you might, if he decides that it's a good idea. I'll let you see the test book they make. When I'm happy with it, of course."

Namjoon nods in understanding. "That seems fair to me." Then he gestures again towards the painting. "So which of us does this painting represent?" Jungkook's lower teeth begin to worry his upper lip, and the blue raises an eyebrow. "Don't bite your lip, Kook." 
"Sorry," the younger says automatically, and Namjoon's smile, this time a little more reassuring. 
"It's okay. Just remember, I'm not here to hurt you, but to help you."