Rainbow - BTS

26 - Indigo

When the world shuts its doors, how are you supposed to react?
When you're told that you're surplus to demand, what are you supposed to believe?

Maybe we read situations wrong
Maybe we've been here for far too long
Maybe life is one big fucking joke
Maybe I'm the punchline, the wheel's broken spoke

"I'm fine, you know," he says quietly, the second Namjoon has left to sort out his shop. "I'm not a total idiot. I know what I can and can't handle."
"I know you do, I think he just gets concerned about the whole thing. After all, there was that one time where we almost lost you," Hoseok points out simply. "I don't think any of us could handle a repeat of that. Joon would be destroyed, particularly."

Yoongi sighs, his mind immediately traversing back to a darker time in the past. He wasn't in a good place, and things just...escalated. There'd been a lot of changes that he wasn't ready for, a lot of pressure, and he just wanted everything to go away. And for a short while, he thought he had the answer. Just sleep. For a long ass time.

Namjoon found him before he'd even collapsed, however, figured out what he'd done, and called the emergency services as Yoongi fell into his arms. The experience, unsurprisingly, shook the blue to the core, but there was nothing he could do to undo the past. He just had to work harder in the present to make sure that Yoongi didn't feel like that was his only option.

That's easier said than done, though.

"I've gotten somewhat better, though," the indigo insists quietly, glancing over at his best friend and business partner. "That was when my hair was slightly lighter black, not when I was an indigo. And we all know that some people never become an indigo. I was lucky, Hobi. And I'm alright now, I swear."

Hoseok just shrugs. "I don't know, things are getting complicated, and the last thing I want is to make you feel like you have nowhere to turn if things get worse. I've got Jungkook coming to his own meetings and showing me art that I've never seen before, I've got this new author, and now the thief situation with Namjoon. Everything seems to be happening at once, and I'm more than a little worried."

Yoongi turns quickly, too fast for Ebony, who mews in complaint from her spot around his neck. He lifts a hand automatically to apologise to her. "Jungkook's doing something new?" he questions, sounding genuinely surprised.

Hoseok glances over at the older male, thinking for a moment before deciding that honesty is probably the best policy. "Yeah, he came in for a meeting yesterday and essentially showed me a sketchbook full of paintings that represented different people in his life...it was stunning. You were the moon, as I remember, and he even put the cats in your picture."

Yoongi smiles a little, ruefully. "I always knew I mattered to the kid, but I didn't think he'd metaphorically draw me," he comments simply, scratching Jet under the chin and then laughing a little at the incredulous expression on Hoseok's face. "Oh come on, Hobi, you really think I made that much of an impact? I just put some ideas in his head. Namjoon's the one that really saved him. Don't kid yourself. I just came along for the ride."

"You're a best-selling poet that allowed him to live out his dream!" Hoseok points out, still reeling, and Yoongi shrugs.
"I write shit, someone likes it, so they buy my shit. Nothing more complicated than that. I didn't do it to sell books. I did it because it helped me survive. If it gave Jungkook a chance to escape from his leech of a mother, then that's even better. It's correlation, not cause."

Hoseok shrugs. "Jungkook seems to disagree, from what I can tell. And maybe it'd be nice if you gave yourself an excuse to believe in your own impact, for once. From what I heard from Jimin, the new kid at Joon's shop, one of his neighbours loves your work. She wants to be a librarian."