The Moment I met you

chaptet 19

Jennifer closed the bathroom door behind her and walked over to the sink where she splashed her face with cold water. Turning the tap off she leaned on her arms against the sink and looked up to met her own reflection. Water was trickling down her face and she lifted on hand to wipe some of it off. She took a deep breath as thousands of thoughts were running through her head. Knowing her life would be a complete mess once this thing came out made her more scared than she'd ever been. How would her friends react when they found out about this? That she was leaving her fiance, the man she'd spent seven years of her life with for a woman she'd just met? Listening to her own thoughts she heard how completely crazy it all sounded and she knew without a doubt her friends would think she'd lost her mind. Staring at her own reflection she noticed that tears had started to escape her eyes.

"What am I gonna do?..." she whispered to her reflection.

She thought about yesterday, about having to confront Nate and about how that made her feel. She felt absolutely crushed that she'd hurt him so much but as her thoughts wandered towards Emily she instantly was filled with a sense of warmth and without realizing it her lips turned upwards into a small smile. No matter how terrified she felt about everything, what she felt for Emily was so strong and though a very small part of her wanted to walk away from the situation just cause that would be the easiest way, there was no way she could do that. She reached for a towel and dried her face. Looking up at her reflection again she decided that she wouldn't let this fear of what everybody else would say and think, ruin a chance of something absolutely wonderful.

Sure, she could go back to the living room, break Emily's heart and her own too for that matter, and go home to Nathan and beg for forgiveness. Tell him how she temporarily lost her mind and that she realized what a big mistake she was making, throwing away seven years for something that was doomed not to last. Cause that's what everybody would think right? That her and Emily could never last, they hardly knew each other and so on and so on. Ending this with Emily and return to Nathan to try and work things out would be what everybody would expect her to do and technically she could do it. She could go back to the man she used to love and marry him, have a family and everybody would be happy. No... not everybody, she wouldn't really be happy, she would be settling.

She shook her head at her own thoughts, if something sounded crazy, this did. She was 32 years old and had spent the past seven years in a relationship with a wonderful man who really was everything anyone would want in a man. But then, like a flash of lightening she found a person who made her the happiest she's ever been in all her life. Someone who makes her heart pound so violently in her chest just by looking at her. Someone who make the concept of butterflies in your stomach get a whole new meaning.

Life's too short to just settle for something that everybody else think is right. This was her now and she was going to live in the moment. She was going to do what made her happy, not what her surroundings assumed would make her happy and what made her happy, was Emily.

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Emily had remained seated torn between going after the blonde or to give her some space. She decided on the later though she had an ache in her heart still. It just wouldn't go away... She believed Jennifer when she'd told her that she wanted to be with her but there was still a part of her that feared that the other woman would realize what she was giving up just to be with her and that Jennifer would decide that in the end it wasn't worth it. That thought killed Emily but she tried to not let it get to her, there was no use picturing the worst case scenario was there? What good would that do?

"I'm sorry..."

Emily turned around when she heard the soft whisper. Jennifer stood by the doorway looking at her and she could see that she'd been crying.