THE UNWANTED (COMPLETED)

15-The Farewell

   I locked myself inside of my room. Crying, packing and shivering.

Nicholas and Tita Espe insisted to helped me. They wanted to talk to Dad but I know nagtatapang-tapangan lang sila. Alam naming pareho na they can't do anything. They also wanted to stay with me tonight. To comfort me and to make me feel love but I'm the one who insisted too, na I don't want anyone with me tonight. They didn't knew that I'm leaving tonight, too.

Dad's order is indestructible. It's an absolute. That's an absolute order.

Plano kong ilaan ang buong gabi na ito to fixed all the things that I needed to fixed. Walking inside my wardrobe with puffy eyes and tired soul. Di ko alam kung saan magsisimula. I'm standing at the center. Feeling so lost. If I didn't bring this things with me. I'm sure they'll throw it all in the trash. They'll trash everything. Like how they trashed me earlier. My heart is full of hatreds. My head is full of thoughts but my soul is very tired. I just wanted to laid on my bed. Cried all those painful happenings happened this past few days.

'Sunod-sunod. Bakit naman sunod-sunod?' I made a farewell letter for Kuya Jun, saying that this is gonna be his last night. Huling gabi na driver ko siya. I'm not going to tell him to just quit. I want him to chose what's better. Kung anong mas makakabuti para sa kanya. I also want the best for him. I thank him for always being there for me. I promised him na once I succeed in the near future. I will come and find him. I want him to be my personal driver again. There's no other man can make me feel safe while I'm in Streets. Siya lang.

I'm crying hard as I wrote it. Masakit na ang dibdib ko kakaiyak but I can't just stop. Naghahalo ang pawis, luha at sipon. I'm so wasted. He's going to drive me for the last time ihahatid niya ako sa gate. Kung saan naghihintay si Logan. I texted him.

I also, texted Logan to picked me up at 12 midnight, infront of the main gate. I'm planning to leave peacefully. Afraid to disturb the others, afraid that Nicky and Tita will see me. I don't want to see them crying and begging for me to stay even though it's already impossible.

I wrote a letter for them. For Tita, saying that she's the most kind and loving step-mother I ever had. I'm wishing her the best relationship with Dad. I thank her for treating me like her very own daughter. Sending my I love you and my goodbyes.

For Nick, saying that I won't ever wish for another younger brother but just only him. He's the best brother for me. I'll miss his silliness. I promised to him that I'm still going to contact him. I told him that everything's gonna be okay that I'm his strong and proud ate. I can do this. I can survive this. Sending my love and thank you's.

And for Manang, I said that I'll miss her so much. Her comforting hugs. Her beautiful smile. Her silly laughs. I thank her for always helping me especially when I made that cake for Harper a year ago. I wish her a good health. Also, sending my love and tight hugs.

I also made a letter for Kuya Brandon, saying sorry for involving him to my case. Saying I'm guilty because he suffered too much. Saying my apologize because I'm nowhere to be found to help him clear his name. I thank him, together with the Gates Guard who helped me. I promised that I won't never forget them. I'll treasure them inside of my heart. Sending love and my bright smile.

Those are the people who never let me feel alone during my stay here. If this is God's Will, I just need to accept this. I'm done packing my things. I left the stuff toys to Nicholas. I know he'll treasure it as I treasured them.

I closed my eyes and lift my head up. Enhaling to filled my heart with calmness. I left the letters at the top of my bed. Their name on it will surely make a way to get through them. I stand up at the center of my room. Passing my eyes in every corner of it. I'll surely miss this room. This is my only comfort zone. The only place of the house that give me peace. Ito ang naging saksi lahat ng saya at sakit na dinanas ko for 12 years of staying here. I'm leaving this place with a bitter farewell.