Confused. Hurt. And Psycho (Jenlisa)

Chapter 56

"Housewarming party (4)"

Irene sipped her wine and asked "Was I been dramatic? Oh, I didn't notice that" Making everyone laugh.

They soon finished everything on the table and clear it up sitting without the table between them. This time, Seulgi sat closer to Irene and Lisa sat with Nini making Jisoo the only outcast. Seulgi made fun of Jisoo for still been single and they laughed.

Seulgi picked an empty medium sized bottle and place it in the middle and started telling them the rules of the game and they all braced themselves listening.

"Now, the rule is; when you swing the bottle and it points at one person, the one who swung is allowed to ask one question and that is a truth or a dare. The one the bottle points at will choice to either go for the truth or the dare. If you don't answer, you drink a full bottle of beer. Are we clear?"

"Yes" Everyone answered.

"Okay, who will start first?" Seulgi asking looking at Irene adding "Irene, would you like to start first?" Seulgi's question caught Irene off guard as she stared at her without saying a word.

Nini tapped Irene and signalled with her eyes and Irene looked away answering.

"Okay, I will start first" Irene said nervously. She had been nervous the moment Seulgi chose to sit by her side. It was like all her senses were lost at that moment.

Actually, when Seulgi sat by her in the beginning, she had wanted to stand up and changed a place but Seulgi pulled her back and she had no choice but to sit closer to her, but it wasn't easy as she found herself starring at Seulgi when she wasn't looking.

Irene had been caught starring at Seulgi more than she could remember but Seulgi didn't say anything and would smile anytime their eyes met.

Was Seulgi really interested in her as Nini said? No way, there was no one a woman like Seulgi would like her after seeing all the disgusting things about her. Irene snapped back to reality and decided not to overthink it. Maybe Seulgi was simply being a gentlewoman because she was a friend of a friend and nothing more.

Irene picked the bottle and placed it flat on the floor. She breathed in and out before swinging it. Everyone watched nervously as the bottle rolled and finally landed on Irene herself. They all looked at the bottle shocked as that was the first time something like that had happened. What were the chances?

Irene smiled and said "I guess I am not that lucky?"

"Says who?" Seulgi asked "This is the first time something like that has happened, right guys" Seulgi said looking at everyone's face.

"Yes, big sis. Don't be so superstitious. You can ask yourself a question then?" Nini added.

"Irene, is there anything you want to say? You can do it" Lisa added.

"Anything I want to say to myself?" Irene said unsure of her feelings.

"Yes, Irene. You haven't really spoke about your feelings since what happened. Feel free and say whatever you want to say?" Jisoo argued using it as a chance to let Irene open up.

"Why did I live my life like that before? How did I get to this road that gives me nightmares and goose bumps every night? Why? Why? Why? that is the question I ask myself every time, but funny enough I never get the answer to it"

Everyone watched Irene as she finally opened up and spoke about her feelings. This was the first time since that day so they all kept quiet and listened to her.

"At first, it felt like a dream. I thought everything would be okay as long as I slept and never woke up, everything would disappear and when I wake up, it would be like nothing actually happened.

Then, I realised it wasn't a dream but a reality. A man I trusted and gave my heart to deceived and betrayed me. Joined hands with my only family to hurt me in the cruellest manner. Did I deserve what I got? I asked myself. I wasn't a good person. I wasn't a kind person.

I wasn't someone who pitied others. To be exact, I was arrogant and looked down on people. But, did I really deserve that? Did I deserve to be humiliated in that manner?" Irene choked on her saliva as she spoke and Seulgi gave her a glass of water and she sipped and continued.

"Did I deserve the hurt I am going through. Did I deserve to have my body exposed to the world in that manner? Honestly, I don't know the answer still. I can't sleep at night because when I close my eyes, I find myself back to that day when it all happened. Even though the video is no longer on the internet, the harm has been done already and I have to endure it while the one who did that to me is roaming free. What kind of world are we living in?"

"Do bad people deserve bad things happening to them because they're bad? Do bad people have no right anymore because they're bad? I am a woman no matter what and now, I can't even look up and face any man because the fear is deeply rooted in my heart"

"I don't have the confidence to even leave the house alone without someone going with me. My heart is in so much pain. I am angry and I don't even know where to pour it out. I feel so dirty and unworthy. I feel like dying".

Seulgi pulled Irene into her embrace as she wept. Nini looked away with tears and Lisa also pulled her closer to herself. The room turned quite but the sobs of the two ladies could be heard.

Lisa, Seulgi and jisoo could feel their pain and wanted to help them in any way possible.

The truth is, women go through such abuse in this world and no one sees anything wrong with it. Around the globe, women are abused day in day out yet no one speaks about it. Emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and physical abuse are all forms of abuses that women go through. Some are lucky to get help and are able to heal but some endure it till they die.