Over Her Head - An SVU fic

25.Sorting it out

"Are you out of your mind?" I asked with an incredulous laugh. Did he really think I would even consider marrying him after everything he's put me through?

"Not at all."

"Then you are one arrogant sumbitch!" I seethed as I approached him.

"Now angel..."

"To think that I would even consider being with you again...I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth and do you know why? Because you are a monster! You are a cruel, sadistic monster of a man and I don't want anything more to do with you!" He moved so fast, I didn't see it coming and before I knew it his hand was clamped around my throat.

"No no... Don't try to scream." He said in a calm, almost-whisper while I clawed at his fingers trying to pry them loose. "I told you, we are not over until I choose to let you go and that, my angel is simply not a choice that I'm either willing nor able to make."

God knows I didn't want to but it was either him or me and I had to choose me, not giving it a second thought as I sent my fist crashing into his diaphragm, aggravating his bullet wound. I felt terrible when I heard him cry out in pain but it forced him to release his hold on me and I quickly backed away from him.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, my heart genuinely hurting at having caused him pain "But you don't get to make the choice this time. I am done being your punching bag! I will not marry you because I want no ties to you and I thank god there aren't any!"

"You bitch! What has Julia done to you?" he groaned.

"Don't blame her. You wanna point fingers at anybody, you point them at yourself! YOU made me this way!"

"...by loving you?" He questioned innocently as he held his ribs.

"Do you need a help? Should I get the nurse?"

"No I... Angel, don't let her do this. She wants to destroy me and everything I have..."

"You destroyed us all by yourself...I only came here to say goodbye but if there was any chance of me changin my mind, you killed it."

"You can't do that..."

"Yeah I can...and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry because I do love you and I wanted this to work; I tried to make it work. I didn't even mind the crazy shit you talked me into, but the abuse... I can't live with the abuse, and I'm done trying. We're done!"

I turned and left the room, not bothering to turn around in spite of his calling for me to come back but this time I wouldn't be swayed.

.

The following morning Olivia found herself wide awake at the crack of dawn. She hadn't slept much in spite of being exhausted both physically and emotionally. All night her guilty conscience kept replaying the whole mess with David and when it became too much to think about she'd rouse Nick from his sleep to fuck the thoughts away - this happened twice during the night and both times it failed miserably except the moments where she lost control of mind and body while orgasm tore through her so hard it left her trembling and near sobbing.

Now as she looked over at her fiance in the morning light, those thoughts were more prevalent now that she could see the heartache etched on his beautiful face even in slumber and it hurt her deeply to know that she'd been the catalyst. Deciding not to wake him, she caressed his face and kissed him sweetly on the lips before slipping out of bed and heading to the adjoining bathroom for a hot shower, hoping that maybe she could wash away some of the guilt that seemed to envelope her.

... ... ...

A half hour later, freshly scrubbed from head to toe she sat in her fluffy bathrobe curled up on the built in settee of the giant window that lined the easternmost wall of the lavishly decorated living room. She hadn't bothered blow drying her hair, opting instead to leaving it hanging in long damp curls as she sat sipping tea while staring absently at the morning rain as it beat against the glass.