Over Her Head - An SVU fic

17.Round and Round

As Thomas walked into the apartment and I slowly closed the door, I couldn't help but feeling an overwhelming sense of dread. He hadn't said anything so far that gave me reason for alarm but I knew Thomas, he was angry and he had a gift for hiding his anger until the moment he chose to strike - when it was too late. My feet were frozen place as I fought the rapid pounding of my heartbeat, my head again screaming at me to get the hell out of here. Why don't I ever listen to my first instinct?

"Angel?"

I heard him call affectionately from the living room and I quickly pulled myself together.

"I'm coming" I called back, having to force myself to let go of the doorknob...but I didn't lock the door; just in case.

I made why way into the living room only to find it empty

"In here" I heard him say from the dining room and followed, stepping inside to find him setting out dinner.

"I thought we could eat here" he smiled charmingly as he always did when he was working an angle.

We? I don't recall inviting you!

"Yeah...that's fine" I replied solemnly, my arms crossed over my chest and not moving from where I stood at the entryway. "Thomas...what are you doing here? I mean...I didn't expect..."

"I've missed you beautiful. What more reason could there be?"

"Y-you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad angel?"

"I just assumed with the way...it's not important"

"Tell you what, let's have dinner and then we'll talk about the ugliness afterwards - if that's alright"

...

I don't know why I agreed to eat with him anymore than I know why I let him in the door to begin with but I did, though as hungry as I was, I was suddenly too nervous to eat more than a few bites and mainly just pushed the food around on my plate but he ate heartily as if there were nothing wrong. After dinner, we went back to the living room where he insisted that we should talk; I couldn't believe it when he began apologizing for what happened in Morocco.

"I don't know what gets into me sometimes angel but I love you and I need you to know how sorry I am."

"Thomas..."

"Angel, I am asking that you give me another chance, it's all I want, to be back in your good graces again."

My mind was racing. I didn't want to have to answer him; not with him here, not while we're alone...

"I don't think..."I stopped to take a deep breath "You and me...together is not the best idea right now" it took everything in me just to get the words out. I'm nervous and scared; so much so that at this moment that I feel sick to my stomach. How could I have let things go this far to the point where he affects me this way?

"I don't think I understand" he said with a look of confusion on his face as I stood up and backed a few feet away from him.

"I just..."

What the hell is wrong with you girl? You've never been afraid of anything or anyone in your entire life so why does he get the honor of bein the first?

"Just what?" he asked as he stood up and began walking toward me.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up!

"After everything that h-happened in Morocco I don't...maybe we should take some time apart...maybe for, maybe for good." I took a step back as he got closer to me.