Over Her Head - An SVU fic

2.Point of no return

I felt so guilty about that kiss. I had broken a personal rule and I hated myself for it! In the months that followed, I did everything I could to stay away from Thomas, but it was of no use. He had decided that I was what he wanted and he was relentless in pursuing me; the gifts kept coming and soon I found it hard to refuse them as easily as I used to; the invitations to private dinners that I never meant to accept but somehow always did. The phone calls that would last sometimes til 2am where we talked about nothing but everything at the same time in spite of the fact that my phone would ring and when I would see that it was him, I would have every intention of not answering it but I couldn't do it. When I'd pick up and hear his voice on the other end, it was like a fix for me. More and more Thomas was getting a grip on my heart and it scared me.

I wanted to stay away; Liv told me I should have, she was the only one who knew about us and she didn't like it at all. She liked Thomas even less, she felt that he was just stringing me along and that it would only end up with me getting hurt.

"They never leave their wives...ever!"

"Liv it's not like that"

"Rollins, you're an adult so I can't tell you how to live your life but if I were you, I'd run as far away from that man as I possibly could!"

I knew that I should have, but I didn't and no matter how much I kept telling myself that I was wrong for it; nothing could stop what was happening; If I'd had an ounce of sense, I would have listened but instead, like I always do, I made a bad choice. My heart was going full speed and it was because of my heart that I eventually ignored my head and got in way deeper that I ever meant to!

Thomas' driver showed up at my door early one Saturday morning, asking that I come with him and that I bring nothing but my passport - per Mr. Kirkland's request. I had the next three days off from work and even though I knew right then and there that it would be stupid to entertain this, I did it anyway. I grabbed a shower, dressed and grabbed my passport and purse and I was out the door going off to God-knows-where but I didn't care. I just needed to be with him and if I had to cross a continent to do it then so be it!

I ended up in Paris; mind you, I'm a southern girl who had never even been out of Georgia before I came to New York to work with SVU; yet here I was, in one of the most famous and beautiful cities in the world, greeted by a Limo that took me to some ultra-fancy hotel called Le Meurice where I was escorted to the Presidential Apartment. The Concierge gave me the grand tour and when he opened the double doors to the master suite I was speechless! The exquisitely decorated bedroom was filled with boxes and garment bags from the most upscale boutiques in all of Paris - I felt like I had just stepped into a fairytale!

I was instructed to dress for dinner and told that Thomas would be arriving soon. I hurried to prepare myself, but since we'd only be having dinner here in the suite, I didn't feel the need to be too formal and chose a simple black cocktail dress, strapless with simple black heels and pulled my hair up in a bun. When he arrived around 8, he just stood looking at me for a long, awkward moment...

"I have never seen anything as beautiful as you!"

"Stop" I blushed

"I mean it." he said as he stepped closer to me and caressed my face. God, his touch made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and when he pulled me in close and slowly leaned in to kiss me, I knew that it was a done deal. All the months I'd spent telling myself that I couldn't let this happen had just gone right out the window! I surrendered my heart in that kiss and in surrendering my heart, I surrendered my body as well and let him take me to his bed - before I could stop it, he was carrying me to the bedroom and then lay me down on a bed of silk.

I should have stopped him when he climbed on top of me but I wanted him so much in that moment. The heat between us was electrifying and I needed to have him; my body tingled with every touch! We literally tore each others' clothes from our bodies, our lovemaking was frantic, almost desperate - it was as if we were trying to meld our bodies into one and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He made love to me with such incredible passion and if I hadn't been sure how I felt about Thomas before, I knew now; every fiber of me knew that I completely loved him and that from this moment I was his. As I clung to him I cried over and over "I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!" that night I threw every single inhibition I had out the window; I would do anything for Thomas and now he knew it!