Over Her Head - An SVU fic

9.True colors

The next few weeks saw peace in practically every area of my life. Thomas backed off from bugging me about my job and my friends and instead focused on us and in return, I rewarded him by taking a three month leave of absence from work to give him my undivided attention. When I told Olivia of my plans, she didn't try to talk me out of them; she'd promised that she was done trying to dissuade me from being with Thomas and she was true to her word but she did pose a question that left me thinking

"Do you ever think that maybe you're too accommodating where Thomas is concerned?"

"I don't know, I mean love is give and take right?"

"Yes but it just seems to me that you're doing most of the giving; I mean a three month leave from work just to...?"

"Enjoy the man I love. You know how it is when love is new"

"I know all too well, but I also wonder if it would have become love if I'd known about his wife from the beginning; if I'd been given a choice." Olivia said wistfully

"You still love him, don't you?"

"David? He gave me two beautiful children; for that, I'll always love him"

"But are you still 'in' love with him?"

"I'm in a relationship and I'm committed to it" she reminded me

"That's not what I asked"

She gave a vague smile and sipped her coffee

...

With Olivia's question swirling in my head, I went along with my plans for my leave and allowed Thomas to spoil me beyond my wildest dreams - trips, shopping sprees, fancy restaurants, the best hotels - you name it. He even handed me the keys to a brand new, custom made Land Rover Range Rover for my birthday, insisting that I needed a better car. I didn't fight him on it and gladly accepted the luxury vehicle. I was slowly accepting the roll that Thomas had intended for me to play in his life; looking back, I wish that I'd fought harder to maintain the person I was.

In addition to providing me all the material things he thought would make me happy, he also continued to introduce me to more new experiences. We went skydiving in Hawaii - my first time and when we landed, while the adrenaline was still coursing hard through my veins and my heart was pounding like crazy, he tore off my jumpsuit and made love to me right there on the ground where we'd landed - I'd never come so hard in my life! Bungee jumping, hang gliding, jet boating through river canyons - all would give me an incredible rush and would lead to incredible sex and I couldn't get enough of the thrill! The thrill however, didn't last long and it was in Morocco things began changing again, just a month into my leave.

I was upset at him not joining me there when he said he would and I had to spend a week there alone before he finally arrived - unannounced. This was typical of Thomas so I don't know why it upset me so much this time but it did and I was on the phone venting my frustrations to Olivia when he walked in.

"I'm just feeling...I don't know, this isn't what I thought it would be; visiting all these beautiful places but I'm alone most of the time"

"Come home"

"I should. You know, I can't help thinking that maybe you're right, maybe I am giving too much in this relationship; maybe I need to step back and reexamine..."

"Hello Angel" I heard his voice say and every nerve in my body went rogue as anger, relief, and arousal all came rushing to me at once and I paused.

"Let me get back to you." I said to Olivia while my eyes drank in the sight of Thomas.

"If you need me..."