Clutching the sides of her shirt together; Karina watched the rain slide down the window glass, letting her thoughts wander to her.
It was a dreary night, Giselle was passed out on the sofa of their unit whilst she continued sipping on the booze the girl had bought for them.. hoping it would lessen the sentiment pain in her chest.. hoping she could forget just for the night.
It was cold.. and she's numb. The serenity of the night sky and tranquility of the city were not enough to calm the deliriousness she had been experiencing for the past couple of days.
She misses her. How many times does she have to keep texting her those words and receive nothing in return?
It hurts. She wanted to talk things out, afterall Winter promised they'll communicate with each other if something's up. And yet, she's the one who's being distant instead of clearing things out.
The last bottle of beer but Karina couldn't feel the alcohol streaming in her entire system, having no effect. She wanted to feel something.. something that would hurt her physically. She was dizzy but sober enough to think and act straight.
Walking her way to their room she looked for something.. and when she spotted it she quickly sat on the edge of the bed as she stared at her wrist.
Maybe... maybe if she do this, it will ease the hefty misery that's been lingering inside her chest.
She was ready. She had it sticking on her skin... but she was halted by the picture on the side of their bed. She was happy with her. When did it start to go wrong?
"You wouldn't do this again, right?"
"Your skin is too pretty to be disdain."
"You can always talk to me, I'm your friend."
Her hands slowly fell on the side of the bed, feeling weak and fragile she observed their room. Memories started flashing when she shut her eyes.
Their room was probably the most vibrant in this seemingly forsaken unit. The color and the designs perfectly matched Karina's jolly personality. But its four walls appeared to be in grief like its occupant.
Pulling her knees to her chest, Karina sobbed quietly so Giselle wouldn't hear her. She doesn't want to burden her even more.. she knew how much that girl suffered and she doesn't want her to experience the same pain by seeing her in that situation.
Wiping her eyes after an hour of her mental breakdown, Karina opened the door to go out and get some fresh air but she was caught off guard when the girl she's been wishing to see was there. Standing firm with her cold, lifeless eyes staring back at her.
She was astounded. She didn't know what to do, her feet frozed on the ground as a defeaning silence surrounded them both.
Soon as she recovered, she tried her best to give her a smile just like she always do when Winter gets home. But it was different this time, Karina's smile was forced.. it was as if the effort would wound her.
"Y-you're home." She stammered upon her words, still startled by the fact that she's here. She came home.
It was her. Like a dream. A hallucination. She looked tired than ever; eyes dark, deep and puffy, nose red and face dim. Her hair was in disheveled, and her stance was a mess; she looked like she'll about to collapse.
"I'm only here to get my things." She broke the eye contact as she slightly bumped on her shoulder and rushed inside their room
"What do you mean? Where are you going? You were gone for a week Winter! A week! Can we please talk?" Karina asked, her voice appeared to be in pain.
She's facing Winter's back, and she saw how the girl sharply inhaled before she continue packing her things
"What did I do, Winter? Tell me! Did I do something wrong? Why are you acting like this?" Karina tried her best not to stutter although her voice is already shaking, she gathered all the courage to ask her those questions.
Winter ignored her once again.
"Winter, I love you! Please, tell me! Tell me what did I do?! God, it hurts! Enlighten me!" Karina yelled, tears formed at the side of her eyes
And yet Winter remained quiet, as if she went deaf. She continued packing her things on a plastic bag.
"D-did you find someone else? S.. someone better?" The pain was evident in her voice and that was enough for Winter to be caught off guard
A small smile rose up on the side of her lips as a hysterical laughed blared out in the four corners of the room
"Don't make me laugh, Jimin." Winter managed to put up a bitter smile, but her eyes said the otherwise as it had the saddest glance
"Stop acting like that, please!" Karina bit her lower lip
Winter narrowed her eyes at her, "Acting like what?"
"Like you don't love me!" She replied
A pang of pain briefly pierced through Winter's heart, she averted her gaze at the latter and went back to packing her things. Her vision blurred as she continued to shove her clothes into the suitcase, not caring if they were neat. She shoved whatever she could fit.
Karina approached her, and with a heavy heart she put back the clothes Winter had put in the suitcase back into their cabinet
"Stop doing this! Let's talk please, I don't know what's gotten into you but let's talk this out!" She sounded so desperate.. and Winter almost believed her.. she almost believed she's hurt by all of this
"You were so easy to love Karina.. but I guess my love for you wasn't enough." She whispered, her eyes shined when it reflected on the light, a sign that she was about to cry.
"It's more than enough Winter! What are you talking about? I love you! I love you so much!" Karina replied through her shaking voice, her trembling hands made its way on the side of Winter's cheeks as she lovingly gaze at her
Karina expected her to reply the same thing. Winter had always replied to it with her notorious I know yet this time she answered it differently
"How can you lie with such ease?"
YOU ARE READING
Miss Pessimistic | winrina/jiminjeong
Fanfiction"Please, just this once... tell me you love me." Deep down we both knew it would only lead to pain... but we still got carried away. We risked everything even ourselves, it was getting destructive. Right then, I knew what we had to do, and that is t...
