Bad Taste (Part II) // Colby Brock

230 - Colby

I was nervous as fuck.

And I didn't even know why.

These were my family, the only people I'd had for the longest time who I knew would never betray me, even if they lied every now and then. I had no reason to be minutes, maybe seconds, away from seeing them again after just a week and be nervous about that.

But I felt this way because it'd been so much longer than just over a week for me, it'd been a whole damn mental journey—and I'd had a dreamy vacation with another person I knew I'd always be able to count on.

This wasn't just coming back home, this was coming back mentally.

There was a side of me that'd never return. The totally goofy idiot was lost with the change and no matter what I did, I couldn't change that. All that was left of me had been suppressed for the longest time in an attempt to assert my strength over others. It was probably for the best, once upon a time, as I never would've gotten Mike into the group without my tough attitude—certainly wouldn't have been able to keep him in line; Kevin wouldn't have respected me; Aryia might've felt too insecure.

My change had benefited me for a while, but I think everyone was ready for the lighter version of me to come back, even if it was only in the house or when my girl was around.

Sam, I knew, would be ecstatic, which kind of just added to the pressure. What if he didn't like the old me? What if he thought this me wasn't suited for being a clan leader? He'd said he wanted the old me back, but seeing it in the flesh, he could still change his mind.

So could Rebecca even though she'd had to go through the same journey with me. Hell, we'd been through so much shit together so far that I worried if I was tamer, less driven by anger and therefore passion, our relationship could falter. She was my One, she could never truly leave me, but that didn't mean she couldn't fall out of love with me, or become upset with her life.

I realised in that moment the old me brought about so many issues I hadn't had to face in so long; so much self-doubt and anxiety. Maybe it was just the nerves but, as much as I once tried to forget, my depressed past was never going to go away. Now that I only had enhanced emotions, I couldn't imagine what that'd do to my sense of self-worth.

Sighing at how complicated all of this seemed to be, I rubbed my palms down the white shirt I wore.

White was a bold statement for me to make after so long of strictly wearing a range of three colours—more like two—and I only picked this shirt because it was the one I was wearing when I changed so long ago. I didn't remember the situation or why, just that I had it on and quickly got rid of it for a tougher persona.

And now I was wearing it to show... how strong I was? I didn't know. I was wearing it because it was fucking different and I wanted to show all the emotional growth I'd had since that day.

I hoped someone got the message, that I wouldn't have to spell it out for them.

"Baby."

That voice. I fucking loved that voice.

"You're making me anxious. It's just the others." My eyes moved to the beauty next to me with gorgeous brown eyes that I wanted to spend the rest of my eternal life drowning in.

"Come on," she encouraged using that sweet voice of hers. Her hand was rubbing up and down on my chest, just above where the tattoo was. "Do you really want to spend this time worrying? You should be coming up with a speech to make to Sam, the true love of your life."

I snorted before I could stop myself and Rebecca smiled at me. "You know it's true," she teased.

"He's my soulmate, you're my One," I said. "Works out perfectly." Rebecca's smile only grew, igniting something within me.