Fight For Them - AVENGERS POV

-19-

You sat on your bed later that afternoon, waiting for Bucky to arrive with the movie.

You needed to tell him about the hysterectomy; best to be clear now and he can make his mind up how he wants to continue this.... whatever this was.

You had thought about all the different ways you could tell him but none of them seemed right. The whole situation wasn't right.

You weren't sure if you wanted kids; you hadn't given it much thought really. You guessed kids were in the future, but you still weren't sure whether that was your choice or society pretty much saying "women must have babies to be fulfilled." Which is nonsense.

But having that decision taken away from you, having that choice made for you without ever asking you... that's what cut deep. Now, all you want is kids, and lots of them. Like someone being told don't press the red button; now you've said I can't, I want to!

Your door opened and in stepped Bucky balancing a pizza on top of a few beers.

He kicked the door shut behind him and smiled, "we have Diary of the Dead which promises to be full of blood and gore that it would make vampires turn in their coffins." Bucky read off the back of the DVD.

"Sounds interesting." You smiled weakly as he sat next to you, placing the pizza in front of the two of you and beers on the desk.

Bucky took one look at you and frowned, "you alright? What's up?"

'Damn him and just knowing when I'm upset..' you thought to yourself.

You looked up into his sparkling blue eyes and you knew there was never going to be an easy way to tell him.

He wanted kids. He'd always said that. He loved what Clint had and wished it for himself one day. And for a brief second you thought you could give him that... maybe.

But now it was out of he question. He would look at you differently and be different; your body wasn't going to do that one thing that a born woman could do. You were a freak. A monster.

"Y/N, please tell me what's wrong." Bucky took your hands in his, looking you up and down.

His body and jaw tensed, his hands gripped yours but also lightly brushed your knuckles. He was nervous.

You opened your mouth and tried to speak, but nothing came out. Your mouth went dry and you couldn't find the right words.

Bucky sat there, waiting. He didn't push you but he didn't drop it either. You kind of hoped he'd see how nervous and uncomfortable you were and would just stick the film on. But he waited.

"I er..." you started before swallowing the lump forming in your throat. "I saw Bruce today."

Bucky frowned, a little confused, and nodded.

"And, er, we... we found out that I erm..."

"You, what?"

"That I.... That I can't have kids." You stuttered out, closing your eyes as you didn't want to look at his reaction.

A soft, "oh" fell from Buckys lips. He sighed, not taking his hands off yours, "I thought it was gonna be something like you were dying."

You opened your eyes to see a small smile on Buckys lips, relief covering his face.

You let out a breath you hadn't realised you were holding and smiled back, "you don't... see me differently?"

Bucky frowned again but lightly laughed and shook his head, "What? No, of course not."

He pulled you in for hug, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you onto his lap. He held you close to his chest and you leaned into him, completely at ease with him.

"And anyway, these things are never 100%." He added on.

You slowly looked up to him and frowned, "what?"

"You can be told you can't have kids but sometimes miracles happen with infertility now." Bucky smiled, completely oblivious to what you actually meant.

"No, no that's not what I mean." You sighed and stood up.

Bucky swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, "then what do you mean?"

"I have no uterus." You blurred out. "They cut it out of me at that place. Bruce is going through the computer files to figure out exactly when and everything."

Bucky sat looking at you in shock. You don't know what else to say, and looking at him neither did he.

"You hate me." You mumbled, looking down at your fingers as you started fiddling with them.

"What? No!" Bucky jumped up and cupped your face, pushing you gently to look up to him, "why would you say that?"

"You didn't say anything."

"Shock. I wasn't expecting that." Bucky pulled you close to his chest and wrapped his arms around your shoulders tight, holding you in place. Your hands against his chest, feeling his hard chest underneath his black Tee.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better than earlier." You mumbled against his chest, breathing in his scent. "I know we're not exactly together or whatever...but I kinda thought that maybe I'd be the one that gave you those kids you wanted."

You felt Bucky smile against the top of your head. A small laugh caused his chest to bounce as he stroked up your back, "I never saw any one else being the mother of my children."

"But I can't give you that." You pushed yourself away from him as a tear slipped down your cheek, "probably best to find someone else."

"What? No fucking way." Bucky smiled and cupped your face again. "It's you, or no one."

Bucky leaned down and left a small kiss sat on your lips, "besides, there's always adoption. Imagine the happiness we'd give a child with no parents? That's better than having our own."

His words melted your heart; how could he be so sweet?

"You're getting rather soppy there." You smirked, trying to break the seriousness of the conversation.

"You bring it out of me." He smirked back and kissed your lips softly again.

You reached up and linked your fingers together around his neck, pulling him closer into you. The feel of his body pressed against yours made your whole body feel weak.

Bucky let go of your face, bringing his hands around your back and pushing you closer to him, if that was possible.

You broke your lips away, resting your forehead against his. "So... is now the right time to... you know?" You bit your lip, hoping he understood what you meant.

"Oh yeah." He smirked and kissed you lightly, "I think now is the perfect time."