Torn ╪ ziam.lilo.larry

cнαpтer 13

really sorry for not updating for a while but I was out of the country so it was impossible for me to update. :) 

hope you like this chapter :) 

BTW, I love this Union J's performance on the side! and the song kinda went with the story so I thought why not?

WHOSE A JCAT HERE? I love Jcats! 

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*Zayn's Pov*

"Mate, are you coming with us tonight?" Niall asked as he entered my room without even thinking about knocking. I rolled my eyes at his ability to give someone privacy before letting myself think about his question. 

I really don't know if I wanted to go or not, to face Liam or not. I haven't seen him that much these days and no one can understand how much it pains me not to see his face every morning, to not hear his sweet voice every morning. I can't help but think that I made the wrong decision by breaking up with Li, He was my everything and I don't know how I am living right now without my world. But he deserves someone much better than me and that person is Louis, I know deep down Liam does have some sort of feelings for Louis. All this distance between Liam and I is killing me, I don't even know what to do with my life any more because there is nothing I have to look forward to in life, I have no Liam in my life and It's killing me.

It was hurting me so badly not being able to call him mine. My nights were sleepless and my daytimes where just endless. Nothing seemed possible without Liam by my side I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself from exploding if I talked to him, so I choose to ignore him. I knew it hurt him when he would give me a smile and I returned it with nothing but it hurt me more to see the pain in his eyes but I knew I needed to stay away from him. We were meant to be together but we weren't made to be together. He derserved someone better me, anyone but me. I could never give him all the hapiness he deserves.

I realized I still hadn't answered Niall when his hands waved in front of me.

"Zayn? Are still there mate?" heasked, still waving his hand around frantically.

"Ya sorry man, just thinking about stuff" Niall's expression slowly changed as he realized who I was thinking about. He offered me a small smile which I gladly returned.

"You are not really over him are you Zayn? You still love Liam don't you?"

"Ye Niall, I still love Liam...I still love him..." I said with a realization, saying that out loud made me realize how much I really wanted Liam to be a part of my life, how much I wanted to be with him; protect him, comfort him, cuddle with him, kiss him. I needed Liam no matter what and maybe he needed me too. Maybe he still loves me just like I still love him. This gave me a sudden confidence, a confidence that told me that maybe I could get Liam back in my life, maybe I could protect him, comfort him, cuddle with him, kiss him again. 

"I still Love him Niall, I never stopped and I never would" I didn't realize I was crying till Niall walked over and wiped them away,  giving me a 'Horan' hug. I chuckled weakly and tightly hugged him back needing the comfort it was giving me.

"So coming tonight? Liam's gonna be there..." Niall asked again, smirkly lightly.

"Shut Up Niall, and yeah I am coming. I badly need to get out of this room" 

***

I regretted coming out with the boys as soon as I saw Liam. I couldn't even tell it was him. His eyes looked tired and he had black shades under them, his usual brown puppy eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he had lost a lot of weight. I felt like my pain was nothing compared to the amount of pain he had gone through. I justed wanted to kiss all the pain away but that desire could never be  fulfilled. My heart broke at the sight of my love, he looked so broken, so alone and it was all my fault. All my fucking fault.

I let my eyes linger on Liam for a while, missing seeing him everyday. I felt like I hadn't seen him in ages even though it was only a few days. He wore a navy blue shirt with black skinny jeans. He looked amazing like always. But I couldn't help that something was missing, I didn't know if it is was the sparkle in his eyes or his bright smile. But something wasn't right.

Liam looked up, catching my eyes immediately. We both stared into each others eyes like we did so many times before but this time It felt different. This time his eyes were pleading me to listen to him, to hold him, to kiss him while my eyes were pleading him to stay away from me, pleading him to know that I stilled loved him, maybe even more than before. 

An awkward cough from Harry made us both snap and turn our heads away quickly. Out of the corner, I could see a tear slid down Liam's face making my heart clench. But before I could even think of doing anything, Louis stepped forward wrapping his arms tightly around Liam whispering comforting words. 

I could feel the jealously buring inside me, I wasn't the one that was holding Liam, I wasn't the one comforting him. I felt anger towards Louis for comforting Liam, for being able to touch, for being able to hold him but I could help feel angry at myself for letting go of Liam. I didn't know I would be hruting this much but it just proves that I do love Liam. 

"Guys, could you go at wait outside? we will meet you there in a sec" Louis said giving us a stern but a sad look. His tone told us that they needed to be alone and without thinking I walked out, my heart clenching in anger, jealously and pain. I walked out leaving the love of my life in someone else's arms.

It's too late Zayn....You lost Liam....He's taken....

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I know it was short and nothing major happened but I really wanted to update and I didn't have time to write lots!

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BAD BOI'S POV? I am in tears right now :( poor zayn

OK! so the votes are below and lilo and ziam are tying!!!!! ooooooooohh!!! I am gonna keep the votes open till chapter 15 so you got 3 more chapters to get your votes in! :)

Larry- 4

Ziam- 10

Lilo- 10

you know what to do :)

VOTE!

COMMENT! 

love <3

margi xxx