The Hurt And The Healing: Bucky X OC

Chapter Twelve: Zuppa Di Noodle Al Pollo For The Soul

By the second episode, Mara was fast asleep with her head on Nonna's lap. As he watched her sleep, Bucky was surprised to see how young Mara looked. The woman in the photos on the walls was unrecognizable today. Normally Mara's face was so tense from stress or her dislike of him that it aged her at least a decade. But when she was asleep a glimmer of that photographed woman came back. She seemed relaxed, at peace. The light from the television illuminated her, and while there were some faint shadows where her brow was usually furrowed, she looked young again.

Nonna glanced over at Bucky and smiled. "Poverina, she will fall asleep anywhere if she's still for more than five minutes," she explained quietly.

"I remember what that was like," Bucky replied, thinking back to his time with the 107th.

"She just works too much," Nonna said sadly. "But she's a doctor, she can't just leave. At least, she doesn't think she can."

"One of my friends from the Army was like that," Bucky said quietly. "He knew that if he stopped fighting it meant someone else had to risk their lives instead."

"Did your friend ever stop?" Nonna asked.

"After a while he couldn't fight anymore. And he learned to accept that," Bucky answered. "It wasn't easy, but he learned."

"She wasn't always like this," Nonna said, brushing a stray lock off of Mara's face. "She used to be the sweetest child, always trying to help someone. Alexander was the one who always had the fight in him, half the time she was the one talking him down!" Nonna chuckled. "Once when they were twelve Alexander found out that she was being picked on by some older boys. Oh, he took his little league bat and was prepared to beat some manners into them!" She laughed but quickly stopped and looked down to make sure she hadn't woken Mara. "When Mara heard she chased him down and yelled at him. Called him a arrabbiato gallo and a few other things that he wouldn't repeat in front of his Nonna! He decided against fighting those boys."

Bucky chuckled. "That was how it was with my friend Steve. He was the scrawniest little punk, always defending someone's honor. Course I was never able to get to him before he started the fight, so I'd end up finishing it." Bucky shook his head. "Steve never did know when to walk away."

"Bah, the biggest hotheads always need someone to cool them down," Nonna mused. She paused for a moment, her hand softly stroking Mara's hair. "After Alexander died, Mara got too cold. She just hurt all over, so she decided not to hurt at all. Then her parents died and she had to take care of me and, well... she never did warm up." Nonna looked down at the sleeping girl on her lap and sighed. "I think the Snap was what finally froze her. All that pain, all that fear, she couldn't take it. And she's too scared to warm herself up and feel those feelings again."

"I'm trying to warm myself up too, but it's taking a while," Bucky said softly. Nonna looked over at him and smiled

"Well, I've always got a bowl of hot zuppa for you when you need it," she said kindly.

"Nonna, what if-" he paused, trying to find the courage to say the words. Nonna looked at him, waiting. "What if I've done some things that I can't warm up from?"

"Oh, James," Nonna said reassuringly, "all you need is the desire to be warm again."