The Hurt And The Healing: Bucky X OC

Chapter Fourteen: Friendly Neighborhood Former Assassin

Despite the screaming sirens and gathering crowds, Bucky Barnes was in a world of his own. Sharron was dropped off at her safehouse, where she promised to call a doctor, Sam was off being Captain America, and the world was deciding how to respond to a twenty two year girl dying for a cause so much bigger than her. But Bucky was wandering the streets, thinking. He hadn't stopped thinking since Mara accused him of being a liar over a week ago, and his conversations with Sam had given him as many questions as it had answers.

But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service.

He tried to help them, he really did. Nonna was a kind woman, the sort of woman who ended up adopting everyone she met, filling them up with homemade meals and wisdom from the old country. He thought that she lived alone, that maybe she'd like to have someone to help her carry up the groceries and dice the tomatoes and watch television shows with. What he hadn't accounted for was Mara.

Mara knew that he was full of it. Knew that there was a darkness in him that he couldn't hide, no matter how much he tried to. No matter what he did to try and help her, make her life easier, she resisted him. She forced Nonna to remain arms-length from him as well. He didn't resent Mara for it. If anything he respected her more because of it. Most people are not discerning when they need help, they'll just accept the first thing that makes their lives easier. But Mara was not most people.

He knew what he had to do. He had known it from the moment he found out that Corporal Romano had a fiance, someone who clearly still mourned him. The photos on the wall reminded him of the altar that Yori had set up for his son.

Yori. There was another person that he owed the truth to.

The truth.

The truth was ugly. Cruel. A dark man looming in the shadows, waiting to attack and snuff out the light that Bucky had barely managed to rekindle. He didn't want to tell them. He didn't want to lose the only people who knew him as someone other than the Winter Soldier. But it was like Sam said. This wasn't about him. This was about them.

I'm sure there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something, and you're the only one who can give it to 'em.

He hated when Sam was right. But after the events of the past few weeks, Sam had somehow ended up being the person that he trusted the most. Because damn, he gave good counsel. Not that Bucky would ever admit that, but still. It was nice to have a dependable coworker.

Now Bucky had the easy task of figuring out how to explain everything to the people that the Winter Soldier had hurt without making them think he was crazy, scaring the shit out of them, or shocking them into a comatose state.

Should he start at the beginning? My name is James Barnes and I'm one hundred and six years old. No, that sounded crazy. I used to be an assassin for the Russian branch of Hydra, but I'm not anymore. No, that would scare them. By the way, I killed your loved one. That one would probably give Nonna and Yori a heart attack, and get his head bashed in by a baseball bat wielding Mara.

He had somehow wandered his way to Mara and Nonna's neighborhood. It was late, and the attempted terrorist attack had driven almost everyone inside. A few homeless people and vagrants roamed around, but they weren't causing any trouble so he ignored them. The heat was sweltering and he removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves before draping the jacket over his left arm and continued on.

Was there anything that he could give them to prove that he wasn't delusional? Maybe the library could help him find some pictures of himself with the Howling Commandos, or even one with Steve. How bad could a person really be if Captain America was friends with them? Maybe Raynor could write a letter, telling them that Bucky was officially deprogrammed and no longer a hazard to society. But that meant admitting to Raynor that he hadn't been making as much progress on his list as he had said, which meant sitting through another lecture about how therapy wouldn't work unless he worked at it. Bucky almost prefered Mara beating him over the head with a bat to that conversation.