It's funny—
the places
life takes you.
New friends make my blood warm
and mended friendships
heal parts of me
I didn't even know
were hurting.
Loves springs unexpectedly
and perseveres
and I'm surprised at your
tenacity
to stay.
Or maybe I just never knew
true love.
I'm trying
not to self-sabotage.
Because I'm so
incredibly
lucky.
And lust can stem from fear,
to mess things up
"on my own terms"
so I don't get hurt.
But I'm too young to not try to live my life to the fullest.
Yet too old to deal with anymore
bullshit.
I'm so lucky
to have safety in this love.
I'm tired of the trauma that comes
with turmoil.
Toxicity doesn't make life more interesting,
yet it still calls to me.
Because I just know how to survive.
Peace is a foreign concept.
But I'm trying to be better.
