Only for Myself

Dear C,

Well here we go again-
full circle.
What I don't understand is how
you ignore me.
But yet,
you still are *always*
the first to see and know
what I do.
Who the fuck is
she?
It seems to always lead back
to you.
If you asked me to come over I would
say yes,
But I would say no and make
excuses.
I'm trying to figure out
who I'm supposed to be.
But you make me think
I must be
lost.
Am I immoral?