Last night
you asked me
what was wrong.
And I know
I said
"nothing".
But you know me too well.
You think you're doing something wrong.
But it's me.
My own insecurities and fears
mixed with something I won't
admit is burnout.
And you read our messages,
but I'm loyal.
You are sacred
to me.
I love you.
And I have to tell myself
that you love me no matter what,
and that I truly deserve to be
loved.
I am just reminiscing
about days when I could do
whatever the fuck I wanted.
And feeling so wanted
by them
is extremely tantalizing.
But I have to be happy with myself.
Attention can be a poison
you become addicted to.
Growing up
with so many rules
makes me crave
being alone and the
freedom
that comes with it.
And yet I don't want to spend
a single day
without you.
