Being with you,
makes me realize I hate
sleeping alone.
I've gotten so used to
turning my head
and smelling your skin
before I even
open my eyes.
And I hate fighting because
I'm more
relaxed
than I've ever been.
But I know when to recognize
disrespect.
You're turbulent,
immature,
projecting your issues.
I just want an adult conversation.
But sometimes
I just can't tell if
I'm trying to self-sabotage
or if maybe
you're just too young.
I've always been so
wildly and viciously independent,
wanting to do every single thing
for myself.
I don't wanna be
the trophy wife either.
But it gets fucking exhausting
always being the
caretaker,
fixer,
rescuer.
I don't want just a person,
I want a partner.
But I love you so much.
And right now,
all I know is
I miss
your hand
in mine.
