HEART knows where HOME is

part 21(chap 1)

PART 20

"Now what did you mean by Ash doesnt know anything?"

Now I dont beat around the bush do I...

"What we mean love is that...":-mom said while putting her fork down and giving me a concerned look :-"Ash hasnt been informed over your situation and that is bcs we saw it unreasonable after the recent things that have happened between you two lately.

Now you can see my mom turns very formal when its abt serious things...i think i got this from her.

"But mom im 100% positive it was Ash the one who saved me...I know its too hard to believe it but I remember it very clear.":-I responded now my appetite long gone.

"Love you cant say you saw things for sure in the state you were...probably the guy who saved you was kind of same looking and you got it wrong...":-dad said with an apologitic smile.

"But it was him dad why wont you believe me?":-I said now almost in a broken state.

"Love look we understand your situation now..we know how much ash meant to you and maybe thats why your head has started creating things...but Ash is gone...he hasnt seen you since that day...he has moved on and forgoten abt you..and i think its the time for you to do the same..after all it was your decision first.":-dad said in a pleading look.

"I-...

I couldnt even finish before all the tears I had held back till now came rushing in a wave making me choke in my own words...

Running I went upstairs right into my room and plopping into the bed I broke into a loud sob.

I understand now...nobody believes me...not even my whole family....maybe they are right..maybe I should move on and forgot about this...after all its the best for me..for us...for everyone.

After crying myself to sleep I woke up by the sound of birds chirping.

Ah I missed this feeling...the feeling of a warm morning and the strays of sunshine peeking through the curtains of my bedrooms window.In Switzerland its usually cold all the time.

Waking up I headed to the bathroom and freshened myself.After taking a shower I went and brushed my teeth.Just as I was about to leave I saw something.

Dark circles..red nose..pale skin..and dead eyes...thats all I saw...a broken figure.

Here in front of me stood the face I was trying to avoid the most looking at these past days...here in front of me stood a dead girl....here in front of me stood my reflection.

I stopped what I was doing and supporting my weight on the sink I stood staring...1 minute..30 minutes ...one hour...idk how much time passed bcs at these point I didnt care ...the only thoughts running on my mind were:

What have I became?

Where is my life now?

Is this the girl I have always dreamed to be?

Because all I wanted to be when I was a child was to become a famous writter and move on Switzerland.

Havew I archieved that goal?

Yes...

Then what was missing?Why wasnt I happy?

I had everything I ever dreamt of but still my heart is empty..its like..I had lied myself with a fake happiness.

All my life I have wanted living alone..yet I cant help but feel..empty.

All my life I have told people "leave me alone I wanna stay locked in my room in darkness..nobody disturb me" and yet I have always secretly wished in my heart somebody would stop me and say "no..Im never going to leave you alone.I will stay here..with you"

Somehow every time I told my friends I didnt want to go at parties..somehow I always wished one of them would just stop and say "then I will stay with you"..even tho its selfish..I always wished of somebody staying there for me..

Maybe thats why I hated Ash at first..because he always came in my house and dragged me out..he always brought me in different places and made me so many surprises..but never crowded ones or that could bring attention..he never brought me out of my comfort zone.

Flashback:

Days ago after I had met Ash in that meeting:

I was writting a special scene of my book and I was paying extra attention to it since it was a very important part..I needed silence and nobody around my house so I had gave the day off to my maids.I was just giving it the last touches before the bell rang...

ps:Part 20 or as the wattpad counts here..21 is separated in the miniparts bcs its a long chap in itself