HEART knows where HOME is

Part 23

PART 22

Releasing a breath I didnt know i was holding I started following her from behind while saying to myself:

"You can do this Laura...you can do this."

"So your are Laura Falcone?"-:the man who was doing my exam started.

I was brought to a room with a table and two chairs and both sides and a long hanging light.One part of the wall was made from double glass.I couldnt see what was going on in the other side but I knew that Tom was watching me from there with the judge too.The judge at the end would give the confirmation or rejection depends on the answer for my situation.

"Yes,thats me.":-I responded totally calm now that we were in a serious state.

"What did you start this therapy for?":-he asked going straight to the point.

I sighed a little bit.Those memories were kinda distant now but still remained present.

"I came here for two reasons":-i responded confidently:-"the first reason was because I wanted to get over a somebody and second because I passed a trauma of almost getting raped"

The man only nodded.

"Why would you want to get over somebody?":-he continued.

"Because of our relationship."-I simply responded.

"And why would you try to get over a relationship?":-it seems like he wasnt going to let the matter go anytime soon.

"Why wouldnt you let go a relationship who wasnt even there at first?:-I asked while looking him straight in the eyes.

"Oh-": he simply said.:-"then why was that relationship there at all then?"

"Because I lied myself thinking thats all what we ever would be.":-i responded opening a little bit.

"If this relationship isnt so important to you then why was it capable enough of making you go even menthaly unstable?"

BECAUSE OF HOW GODDAMN MUCH HE MEANT TO ME!!! I wanted to shot but i contanied myself from doing so.

"First of all i never said this relationship didnt mean to me or I wouldnt have been in here today,and second its not like this relationship wasnt strong,its just that it was wrong":-I explained.

"So wrong person right time?":-he questioned.

"No,right person,right time,stupid me":-I answered more honestly than ever in my life making some tears hang at the corner of my eye but I prevent them from falling.

The man nodded while circling around the table.

"Does this man have to do something with your rape trauma?":-he asked while walking.

"Yes":-I aswered making him stop and raise his eyebrow.

"Then how is he the right person?";-he asked looking at me weirdly.

"Because he was the one who SAVED me and not the one who tried to rape me":-I answered.

At my explanation his mouth formed in an "o" shape and he resumed his walking like before.

"Then why do you want to get over him if he is a good person?":-the man asked again after some time.

"I never said i want to get over him":-i stated while shrugging my shoulders.

"But you said you wanted to get over the relationship you had with him":-the man asked while putting one of his legs on his chair and leaning all his weight in it.

"I said I wanted to get over my relationship with him so I could build a stronger one instead.":- I answered earning a weird look again from him.

"Then why destroy this relationship and build another stronger one all over again when you could just resume this relationship that is already and make it stronger?:-he asked again.

"BECAUSE I FUCKED IT UP OKAY?:-I shouted while getting up and pushing the table making my chair fall in the process but the man didnt even flinch like he was expecting my break out...like he knew I was on the verge of it and soon I would break.-":BECAUSE I WAS BLIND,BECAUSE IM AN IDIOT,BECAUSE I DIDNT EVEN DESERVE HIM,I DIDNT DESERVE HIS LOVE HIS CARE HIS SUPPORT NOTHING.I PUSHED HIM I HURT HIM I REJECTED HIM AND HE WAS STILL THE ONLY ONE WHO AT THE END OF DAY WOULD COME AT MY DOORWAY WAITING FOR US TO SPEND ANOTHER WEEKEND TOGETHER.I HAVE PUSHED MANY PEOPLE OF MY LIFE EVEN MY FAMILY BUT NONE OF THEM PROTESTED FOR IT.ALL THEM LET ME GO WITHOUT THINKING TWICE.HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO PUT A FIGHT FOR ME SO IM GODDAMN SURE IM NOT GONNA LEAVE HIM ALONE WITHOUT A FIGHT IN THE FUTURE JUST LIKE HE DID WITH ME IN THE PAST"...

*dies of cringe I know