Starting Over

Chapter 69- The Funeral

“Luke, your suit is right here,” I said as calmly as I possibly could, “Calm down. You’re going to have a panic attack!”

“I am calm, Bridge,” Luke lied.

“I know better. I see the look in your eyes. You’re far from calm,” I enlightened him.

“I swear,” Luke was trying to convince himself now. He’s going to go in full blown panic attack by the time we get to the cemetery for the service this morning. I just know it.

“The cars are around front,” Kaye yelled to us from the bottom of the stairs, “Are you ready yet?”

“I’m trying to get Luke ready. We’ll be down soon,” I hollered back at her as I stepped out of Luke’s room.

“I can do this. I can do this. I can do this,” Luke was saying as I stepped back into the room, “Baby, I can’t do this. I just can’t.”

“Luke, breathe. In and out. In and out. You can do this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. No one is more capable that you are,” I assured him, “Just breathe. In and out. In and out.”

“Granddaddy wants to know if ya’ll are ready yet,” Kenzie told us as she came bouncing into the room.

“We’ll be down in a minute. You go on. Me and daddy will be down in a second,” I told our daughter as she turned and exited the room.

“Breathe, Luke. Just breathe. In and out,” I encouraged him, “Let’s get you dressed.”  

I literally had to dress Luke like I dress the kids. One foot at a time and one arm at a time. He couldn’t even manage to get his zipper up by himself. Once his clothes were on I had to get his shirt buttoned and tie tied.

“Luke, you are going to do great. There’s no one more capable of doing this than you are. You will do great. Just remember to breathe,” I told him as I finished adjusting his tie.

“Where’s my gum?” Luke asked. It was the first thing he had said in twenty minutes.

“It’s in my purse downstairs. We’ll get it as soon as we get to the kitchen,” I told him as he slipped his feet into his shoes.

“I need some gum,” Luke said with the same vacant expression he had all morning.

“We’re going to get it now. Come on,” I told him as I grabbed his arm and was leading him out of his room and downstairs.

“Where’s the gum?” Luke asked me as I started digging through my purse.

“Here,” I said handing him a piece of Orbit Sweet Mint.

“Thank you,” he mustered as we walked out the front door towards the car waiting for us.

“The other cars have already left. We are to meet them there,” the driver said as he opened the door for Luke and I.

“Thank you,” I said as Luke slid into the car before I turned to Tia and Megan, “If you need anything call. Thank you so much for keeping the twins.”

“It’s not a problem,” Megan said, “Now get in there with your husband.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I smiled as I slid in next to Luke and the driver closed the door behind me.

“Where are the kids?” Luke asked in a moment of clarity.

“Bo, Tate, and Kenzie rode with your daddy and Kaye,” I told him.

“Where’s Jordan?” Luke asked remembering that she had spent the night with us.

“Stacey came and picked her up this morning. She’s waiting for us,” I told him.