My secret- Newtmas

15

My heart started beating rapidly but I forced myself to nod. I awkwardly stood up and Newt grabbed my wrist

Have fun!

I turned my head a bit, and saw Theresa winking at me

Fuck off

I felt his griping on my wrist tighten for a second before he let go of it and continued walking ahead of me. This reminded me of my first day in the Glade when I was, once again, following him somewhere. So much have happened since then...

I allowed a small sigh to leave my mouth in order to calm down a bit. What did Newt want to talk about? Did he realize I still had feelings for him and wanted to make clear, yet again, the fact that I will never have any chances with him? ...

.......

...

I saw Newt stop walking when we reached the forest

That...
...That was the same place we were at when he said that he didn't like me and that the kiss didn't mean anything to him...

I had already started to become upset and unsteady. I hated that place...My mind had connected it to that event

...

...It was silent

None of us talked. Newt was looking at the ground... He seemed like he was in deep thought of trying to choose the right words... but I couldn't take it. Anticipation was killing me, so I decided to speak up first

"Well...?" My voice came out weak and one could tell I was anxious as hell just by listening to it

"I-" Newt was about to say but cleared his throat awkwardly. I raised my eyebrows to make it seem like I wasn't in complete panic on the inside

"I-I just..." He started in a shaky voice. I could tell he had started trembling by now. His beautiful eyes were glued on the floor and he bit his lower lip in an attempt to make it stop shaking

"I-I just w-wanted.." He looked like he had turned pale a bit and it didn't look like he was going to stop shaking any minute now. His right hand was placed to his left forearm and he was slightly digging his nails to it. I couldn't stand watching him like that. Why was he so nervous...

"w-wanted to apo-" he tried to continue but in each word he said it looked he was getting closer to having a mental breakdown. So I stopped him.

Time seemed to have stopped and I felt like my internal organs were melting. I had almost forgotten this feeling.

I was kissing Newt

I didn't know if he liked it or if I was making a mistake again, but I didn't care. All I cared about was this.

I could feel that he had calmed down a bit so I was about to pull away when I felt his hand stopping me from doing so and then it went up to my hair almost instinctively. His lips started moving against mine.

I almost moaned by his unexpected action but I held it back as it would be awkward to moan in a situation like that.

I bit his lip. Shit. I wanted him so much. ..and on top of that, a part of me was enjoying this way too much.

"N-Newt.." I panted between our kiss "Do you w-want to continue from last time..?" I knew this sounded desperate as fuck but I seriously couldn't care less...After all, all I wanted was Newt...

When Newt heard these words, his eyes turned as wide as they could get and his whole body froze

"Newt?"

He shook his head furiously, terror written all over his face. I could see that some tears were starting to form on his perfect face as I heard him mumble
"I-I can't. I'm s-sorry" and then he run away, leaving me puzzled as to no end...