Bee to my Barnes

Part 1

Slumping down on the cold hardwood floors, exhausted from uprooting from your sunny simple life on the west coast to this small apartment in New York.

Running a hand across your face, warm and swollen from the tears barely dry against your cheeks you let out an exasperated sigh. Tilting your head back against the dull floral walls that you will now call home.

‘’What the hell am I doing moving here?’’

Just like clockwork Jade Hamilton, your best friend in the whole world, inseparable since kindergarten, waltzes through the doorway.  Larger than life itself Jade was just as radiant as her name, long golden locks framing her petite figure as they swung from her shoulders, with her confidence and smile so pure she lit up every room she walked into. Never failing to captivate her audience, she was  the complete opposite to the timid and quiet nature you took so much pleasure in.

‘’Welcome to the neighbourhood bitch!’ she declared while slamming a bottle of tequila down by your side sending an echo round the dimly unfurnished room.

With a wearily smile in a pathetic attempt to reassure your friend everything is fine, your good, the world isn’t ending and your right where your supposed to be, you rest your head on her shoulder. In one swift motion your fingers flick off the lid as you squeeze your eyes shut, taking a moment of sour pleasure as the harsh burning liquid slithered it’s way down your throat, providing the sweet distraction and a promise of ease to the pain smothering your soul.

Startling you jumping to her feet, you can’t help but let out a small chuckle as you watch Jade diving head first into the boxes of hoarded crap you collected over the years. From over the mound came a muffled groan.

‘I still don’t know why you chose this shithole over being my roomie Trix, it’s going to take some serious flare to bring this place to life...’

Your eyes instantly regaining their blurred vision, threatening to explode into waterfalls if you dared to breathe. Jade shot back a sympathetic smile as she poking her head round one of the boxes.

‘I just mean, I’m worried. You have been through so much and I want to be here for you, I want you to be ok.’

Taking another long swig before slowly raising to stand, mainly to focus on anything but this conversation you clear your throat pushing down the tidal wave of emotion spreading over you.

‘I’m ok. I will be ok. I can do this because I have you.’ Reaching for Jade’s hand as you step over the discarded contents of the moving box she had flung around, the evening sunbeams came through the bay windows, reflections catching your vision. Pausing. Scooping up a delicate ivory frame from inside, the tears finally broke the barriers streaming down your cheeks once more.

The sudden onset of pain, the hollow crevice in your chest rang loud, searing through your whole body as it makes you drop to your knees with a thud. Burning seared your legs from the impact as your body began shaking in tune to the rhythm of your laboured sobs, a tightness taking control of your chest as you gaze upon his face, the man who despite how he broke it, still holds your heart. Paul.

Emotions flying through your mind, unable to catch hold of the memories racing you slump, allowing the empty heartbreak to consume your consciousness, the world falling silent, bare and cold like a fresh blanket of snow. 

Gripping the frame from between your grasp Jade placed her hand softly to your cheek, stroking the streaks running down your face. Lifting your chin with a reassuring smile she whispers  ‘Trix, oh Trixie. I know it hurts now but... You deserve so much more. He wasn’t good to you babe.'

Straightening her posture with an affirmative look she declared ‘This is going out and so are we. He isn’t worthy of any more of your tears. This is your fresh start, this is the new you.’

You know she speaks sense, you wanted this, you needed this. So why was it so hard! taking a slow, steady breath through your nose your attempting to calm your fried motherboard as you hype the heck out of this mess you chant.

"You can do this, you're in control"

peering out from under your long ebony curls, catching the pleading eyes of your soul sister, desperation glimpsing through looking for any signs of the Beatrix she knew so well. Mustering the strength and a roll of your eyes, clasping Jade’s arm you lift yourself off the ground.

‘I don’t know where my dresses are.’

Like a firework blasting off to space, the room filled with a squirming shrill as Jade skipped back across the room working at an inhuman speed to get out of this hell hole. Shooting up, almost hitting her head on the swinging bulb above her, she lift up a deep maroon dress and let’s out a wicked smile.