16: Letting Go Is Easier

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"FAMILY PROBLEM," SABI ko. Hindi ko pa kayang idetalye ang sakit. Ayoko nang balikan pa ulit 'yon.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't know."

Mapakla akong ngumiti. "I couldn't tell you anything about it either. But I was really hoping that you trusted me before."

"I'm sorry," malambing ang kanyang boses.

"Do you really mean that?"

He nodded. "Yes."

Our eyes met. I needed to tell him some parts of my story for him to understand what I'd do next. "We're now broke, Ced. Na bankrupt ang business namin since last month."

Nanlambot ang ekspresyon ng kanyang mukha. "I-I'm s-sorry..."

"We're already in hell but you and Lilac made it worse. Wala kaming nahanap na trabaho. As much as I wanted to stay away from you because you're an asshole, I can't refuse your offer. It's not for a bag or any material things, Ced. That money will be Zius' tuition fee," sabi ko.

There was a lone tear that fell in his cheek. Then he looked away.

I cleared my throat before I continued speaking. "I was planning to find a job after working here para pangtustos sa pag-aaral ni Zius but Chase offered me. He will pay for my tuition, too. I'm happy na hindi ako hihinto sa pag-aaral."

"I can help you, sunshine. I'm willing to help."

"I'm afraid that you'll judge me, again. I fell in love with you for being you, Cedar, not for your money."

"I'm sorry for pushing you away," he said softly. He was trying his best to hide his emotions... But he failed. He burst into tears.

I wonder how he would react if I told him everything, but I'm not ready yet. I don't know when I'll be ready.

"It's already done, Ced."

He moved closer then hugged me tight. "Please, come back..."

I hugged him back. I was crying too. "I can't."

"I'll make this work. I won't be shallow again. I'll be mature. I'll be better to deserve you."

"It's too late, Ced."

"Then let's try it again," aniya.

I slowly shook my head. "I can't. My priority right now is to graduate college."

"Pero kung pinakinggan kita noong gabing 'yon, sa tingin mo ba ay hindi tayo maghihiwalay?"

"Hindi ko rin alam, Ced. Hindi mo na kailangang isipin pa ang what ifs and what could've been ng nakaraan natin. After this job, I'll focus on studying until we graduate. I won't think about you. I have no time to think about my love life," pag-aamin ko sa kanya.

"I will wait for you. No matter how long," aniya, mahigpit pa rin ang kanyang pagyakap sa akin. "We just have to enjoy this month, and then I will let you go... until our paths crossed again."

"I'm still upset but I'll set aside my emotions for a month. I still need the money baka hindi mo pa ibigay."

"Don't worry about it. I'll pay for your twin's tuition. Huwag na si Chase. Let's just enjoy the moment."

I chuckled. "Okay, but no kissing and other stuff, okay?"

He smirked. "Other stuff, you mean making love? Like what you've said to Kirsten?"

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