Hayes Grier Imagines

Cancer Perks

(A/N: okay guys, I've been around cancer a lot in my life, mainly cos most of my family has had cancer. and a lot of it was terminal, so i have felt the pain of losing someone.. Please, if you know anyone with cancer or who is extremely sick, please tell them you love them... I'm so sorry if you know anyone who has terminal cancer, i know how hard it is. i got the opening paragraphs from the link at the end. i actually cried writing this....

xoxo vero

RIP Aunt Meg, Grandma Marian, Great Grandma Lidya, Aunt Jade, Uncle Sam, and Nanna. <3

- also, this imagine takes place when you and Hayes are both 16)

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*at the hospital*

"It is very understandable that people want to ask this question. Unfortunately, it is a very difficult question to answer. How the tumour develops will be different in every case and so it is hard to generalize. We have tried to give you as much information as we can, but brain tumours will have different symptoms depending on where they are in your brain. To find out more, it is a good idea to talk it over with your doctor and specialist nurse. They will be familiar with the medical details of your tumour and may be able to talk through how it could affect you as it grows.

There is a set of symptoms that is common to most growing brain tumours. Once a brain tumour reaches a critical size, and cannot be slowed down with treatment, the increased pressure inside the head begins to cause headaches, sickness and drowsiness.

At first, it will be possible to control these symptoms by increasing your steroid dose. But eventually, the steroids will not be able to reduce the swelling any further. You can have painkillers and medicines to control sickness. But you may find that you become increasingly drowsy. This often comes on slowly. You or your relatives may notice that you are sleeping a bit more than usual. This can carry on for quite a time. At this stage, many people can carry on with a relatively normal life, even though they may be drowsy at times and need more sleep than they used to.

As time goes on, you may find that you are sleeping more and more. Gradually, it may become more and more difficult to wake you. Eventually most people slip into unconsciousness. You may be unconscious for days or weeks before you die. During this time, you will need nursing care to keep you comfortable"

i read as i sat in my hospital bed at North Carolina General Hospital. i was currently going through treatment, which, we all know, wont help me.

I'm terminal. i knew as soon as the doctor told me that it was on my brain stem.

I've been with Hayes for about a year now, and he is the best thing i could ever ask for. he is so caring and understanding and, and ill miss him.

"Hey babe, how're you feeling?" Hayes said as he walked in and grabbed a seat on the chair next to my bed. "not too good... i feel really, really sick. I'm really tired too..." i said, rubbing my eyes. Hayes got up and walked around my bed to the one next to mine, and layed down. "baby, you're gonna be okay.", he said as i began to cry, knowing that i might not wake up tomorrow... "no, no no no don't think about that. you'll be fine, okay? its okay, shh its okay" Hayes said as i now began to sob. "i don't want to go, Hayes.. I'm not ready..." i said through my tears holding on to Hayes, not wanting to let go...

*the next day*

I woke up, after 45 minutes of hearing muffled voices trying to wake me up. i knew my body wasn't going to be able to carry on much longer, and it makes me want to cry.

"oh thank god.. you woke up." Hayes said while dramatically falling back onto the bed, making me giggle. "you know i love you, right?" Hayes said coming onto my bed, maneuvering around the wires attached to me, and straddled me, and placed a gentle kiss on my lips as my eyes began to close. i hugged him, and kissed him more, "i don't want to leave.... I'm not ready...." i said, tears streaming down my face, "but i think its time....." i said now choking on my tears. "no, Addy you cant be ready. its not your time yet." Hayes said now crying and getting off of me to get a nurse. i felt myself getting weak, my eyes began to close, "h-Hayes come h-here....." i said trying not to let go, "i love you, i always will... don't let anything stop you, okay? don't let go.. i love you so much, baby. i l-love you...." i said, finally letting myself go. "addy, addy i love so much baby. i love you." Hayes said placing a gentle kiss on my lips before i let the darkness drape over me....

*Hayes POV*

"s-she cant be gone, Nash. she cant be. Nash i loved her so much...." i said at home, sobbing into Nash's shoulder. i couldn't handle this, i loved her. we had made plans now, but she told me that she wanted me to move on. and ill honour that, but i will always lover her. always....

if any of you want more information on this, here's the link:

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/type/brain-tumour/living/if-your-brain-tumour-cannot-be-cured