Hayes Grier Imagines

Toxic Heartache

WARNING • THIS IMAGINE CONTAINS SELF HARM & ALCOHOL {if any of you are self harming or are totally down please message me I totally get it and wanna talk with you guys okay?}

-also, ages have changed to 20 yrs

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*your POV*

The familiar taste of alcohol burnt your throat as you took a sip from the bottle, "God, I'm so pathetic" you mumbled to yourself feeling the alcohol get to your head.

You recalled the events from earlier in your head; you were walking though the mall, you noticed a bleach blonde girl who was way thinner than you holding hands with Hayes in the mall. And you were only there to pick up a gift for his birthday, nothing big.

You felt the panic and sadness set into your body as you sat on the cold tiled floor of your bathroom, feeling like your world had come crashing down on you.

'Why would he even care, you're just some stupid girl who thinks she can be loved by someone like that', your mind taunted you with the constant thought of going back to what you used to do to yourself, your body wouldn't let you. But your mind?

It was all it wanted. The feeling of the cold metal against your skin, that feeling again. Your mind craved it.

Your body repulsed it.

Your mind began racing at all the things you could do to yourself. Standing up from the cold tiles, faltering slightly as the alcohol took a stronger affect on you, you made your way to the desk drawer, trying to find your old friend.

You rummaged through the drawers, your heart racing at the thought of returning to the place you once sought out in comfort from everything bad in the world.

'Finally'

Your mind thought as you held up that small silver thing, your heart began pounding in your head.

Walking back into the bathroom you decided, you exposed your hips infront of the mirror as tears began falling down your cheeks.

'He could never love you'
Slice
'Why would he?'
Slice
'He doesn't care'
Slice

This went on for 15 minutes until your hips were scattered with small cuts, stinging but with not blood to be seen, except with some small drops here and there.

You tucked the blade back into the drawer in the bathroom and wiped the tears from your face, you decided to just sleep off the alcohol as it was beginning to wear you down.

•6 Hours Later•

You awoke to the TV on and the shower running, Hayes was home, you decided to play things like they were fine, hoping he would bring it up.

You wandered downstairs to make yourself some coffee when Hayes padded down the steps, "Hey, babe" he said, coming into the kitchen.

He put his hand on your waste, then down to your hips, "ahh, Oww!!" You screeched, causing him to stumble back in shock. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, "Y-Y/N what's wrong?" Hayes asked, worried about you, "n-nothing" you sputtered, going back to making your coffee.

"Y/N, turn around" Hayes said, tugging on your shoulder so you were now facing him, he put his hands on your hips and gently slid the side of your sweats down.

Tears were spilling from your eyes and down your cheeks, you were panicking.

"Y-Y/N, why would you do this?" Tears now gathering in his eyes, shocked as to what he's seeing etched into your once clean skin.

"You, you were with her," you choked on your own words, "and, and and I didn't know what to do And, are y-you cheating on M-me?" You collapsed to the kitchen in heavy sobs, Hayes following you to make sure you didn't pass out.

"Y/N, I would never cheat on you, you are amazing and wonderful and beautiful, I love YOU, and only you. I would never, ever do that to you, okay? Truth is, I was with a friend of Nash's, trying to find a gift for you. I would never cheat on you, I love you" Hayes said, now crying with you, he mumbled sweet things into your hair, calming you down, "Y/N, please don't ever do this to yourself again, I can't stand to see the girl I love hurt herself," he said, bringing you into his lap, rocking you slowly.

After about a few minutes of sitting on the ground, trying to calm yourself down, Hayes picked you up and carried you up to your room.

He layed you down gently on the bed, sliding in next to you.

You layed your head on his chest, while his arm wrapped around you, keeping you safe.

"I love you," he mumbled, "I love you to," you said back.