The Tale of the Non-Celebrity Girlfriend (ONGOING)

68: Yun Lang Sapat Na

@HellionFairy16: Natutulog ka na?

@hellic0ppeRsX: Siyempre hindi pa. You?

@HellionFairy16: Hindi ako makatulog. Parang ang dami ko pang natitirang energy

@hellic0ppeRsX: I know

@HellionFairy16: Ikaw din ba?

@hellic0ppeRsX: Yep, it never fails. Yung nararamdaman naman ng katawan ko na pagod na ako, but my mind can't calm down

@HellionFairy16: Yeah, exactly.

@hellic0ppeRsX: Haha, ganyan talaga. Congratulations for surviving your first big event

@HellionFairy16: thank you

@hellic0ppeRsX: Sure ka bang okay ka lang diyan sa guest room?

@HellionFairy16: Yep, sure na sure

@hellic0ppeRsX: If I go there, will you let me in?

@HellionFairy16: Hmm...

@hellic0ppeRsX: Come on, FiFi

@HellionFairy16: Kung ako ang pupunta diyan, will you let me in?

@hellic0ppeRsX: Of course!

@HellionFairy16: ok

Napabangon ako bigla. Then I looked at the door like I'm willing it to open. Pero hindi bumukas ang pinto. Instead, I heard a knock. I don't think I ever jumped from the bed so fast in my life. Mabilis na binuksan ko ang pinto. Then I reached out an arm to grab Lhianne and pull her inside.

Hindi ko na kailangan buksan ang ilaw. I know my way towards the bed even when I'm half asleep.

"Teka lang, Gio. I-promise mo muna sa akin na hindi mo sasabihin kahit na kanino na dito ako natulog ngayong gabi. Kung hindi, hindi na ito mauulit."

"Okay, promise."

Hindi pa yata naiintindihan ni Lhianne na kaya kong i-promise sa kanya ang lahat-lahat. She didn't even have to threaten me with anything.

"Which side do you sleep on?"

"The opposite side of where you sleep."

"Gio, seryoso ako."

"Seryoso din naman ako ah. You get in the bed first."

"This is your bed. You should get in first."

Napapabuntong-hiningang sumampa lang ako sa gilid ng kama. And then I pulled her down. "You choose your side first. Kilala mo ako, Lhianne. I could argue with you all night about this."

"Fine."

Finally, Lhianne settled on the right side of the bed. Ako naman wala talagang preference kung saang side man ako matutulog. Well, actually I never really thought about it before. Basta hihiga lang ako tapos matutulog.

"Lhianne."

"Oh?"

"Payakap?"

"Marunong ka nang magpaalam ngayon?" Kunwari ay gulat na tanong niya. But I could hear the teasing tone in her voice.

Napangiti ako. "Baka kasi bigla mo akong paalisin."

I felt her turn around to face me. "Okay."

Iyon lang ang kailangan kong marinig. I literally hauled her whole body towards me. Hanggang sa mapasandal ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko habang ang isang kamay ko ay nakapalibot sa balikat niya.

"Gio!"

"What?"

"Yakap lang ang paalam mo di ba?"

Lalo ko pang hinigpitan ang yakap ko sa kanya para hindi siya makalayo. "Yakap nga oh," I said while grinning.

Ine-expect ko na sasagot pa si Lhianne about technicalities and stuff. But surprisingly, she just settled more comfortably beside me. Iniyakap pa niya ang isang kamay sa bewang ko.

We stayed like this quietly for a few minutes hanggang sa maging banayad na ang paghinga ni Lhianne. Akala ko nakatulog na siya. Pero maya-maya lang ay bigla siyang nagsalita

"Gio."

"Hmm?"

"Do you think your mother hates me now?"

"You're thinking about my mother?"

"Oo. Hindi ko kasi makalimutan yung nangyari kanina."

Mahinang natawa ako. "And here I am thinking about how to sleep when you're lying beside me like this."

"Gio, naman eh. Seryoso ako tapos hinahaluan mo ng ganyan."

"Seryoso din ako, babe."

"So ano nga sa tingin mo?"

"Anong tingin saan?"

"Sa mama mo. Do you think she hates me now?"

"No, Lhianne. She doesn't hate you. Kaya wag mo nang isipin yun."

"Paano mo nasabi yan?"

I could only sigh. Magkapareho kami ni Lhianne sa ganitong ugali. Yung kapag may gumugulo sa isip namin, kahit pa anong klaseng distraction ang dumating, hindi kami basta-basta madi-distract. There's only one way she would let this topic go. Kailangang masagot ang tanong niya at matanggap ng utak niya ang sagot na iyon.

"I know my mother. Hindi siya nag-aaksaya ng panahon sa mga feelings at sa ibang tao. She doesn't hate or care about people. She only cares about herself and her reputation. Kaya wag ka nang magworry diyan. She probably don't even have an opinion about you at all."

"That sounds even worse."

"Ganun talaga ang mama ko, babe. Don't worry, hindi lang naman siya sa'yo ganyan. Ganyan siya sa lahat ng tao. Kahit sa asawa niya. He only married her to have a trophy wife and my mother only married him because he's rich. Saka kahit sa akin, ganoon din siya."

"Hindi ako naniniwala sa'yo. I clearly saw and heard how she reacted when you asked her to leave."

"Kasi may ibang tao sa paligid. She has to keep up appearances after all. Pero maniwala ka sa akin, kapag kami lang dalawa, she doesn't give a shit at all."

"That sounds awful, Gio."

"Sanay na ako. Matagal ko nang natanggap na ganyan ang natatanging magulang na meron ako. All she cares about is the appearance of being a loving mother. Pero dahil lang din yan sa pagiging member ko ng Night Hellions. If not for that, I doubt she would even want to know where I am or what I'm doing." Then I kissed Lhianne on her head just because I feel like doing it.

"Now that I think about it, wala nga siyang reaction nung sinabi mo na girlfriend mo ako."

"See? That's basically how it is with her. Kaya wag mo nang isipin kung galit siya sa iyo o kung magugustuhan ka niya or whatever. She won't care. And even if she would in the future, I won't let her. Wala siyang karapatan, Lhianne. My earliest memories of her involved seeing her back while she's walking away from me."

"Walking away from you?"

"Oo, nabanggit ko na yata sa'yo ng kaunti ang tungkol doon nung nasa lock-in taping tayo. Yung lolo ko talaga ang nagpalaki sa akin. From time to time, my mother would come back like nothing happened. Tapos kapag nagsawa na uli siya o kaya na-bore, bigla na lang siyang aalis uli. She's not fit to be a parent and she knows it as well. Kaya nga ang pinili niyang asawa ay yung may anak na. And for a long time after my grandparents died, she didn't even look for me or find out if I was doing okay. Hanggang sa nabuo na ang Night Hellions at unti-unti na kaming nakikilala. Saka lang uli siya bumalik sa buhay ko."

I felt Lhianne's sigh. Humigpit pa ang pagkakayakap niya sa bewang ko. "I'm here now. Hindi ka na magiging lonely uli. I love you, Gio."

Ah, this girl. She knows me too well. Alam niyang hindi ko kailangan ng magagandang salita. Because I don't think there's anything that anyone could ever say to an abandoned child to make him feel better about being abandoned. Kahit pa anong magandang salita ang sabihin ng kahit sino, hindi mababago ang fact na iniwan siya. He wasn't wanted. He wasn't loved. At iyan mismo ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit ayaw na ayaw kong sinasabi ang kuwento ko sa ibang tao. Hindi ko kilangan ng simpatya nila. But hearing Lhianne say she's here now and she loves me, yun lang sapat na.