Finally

Part 16: The End of This Rope Is A Noose

"You baby?"

How do I respond to that?

My baby?

It's not my baby.

I want it to be.

Giving up waiting for my answer, Luna goes to the back pack on the floor and takes out her dolls to play with. Looking at Helen, I can see her crushed soul trying to bury itself. Going to her, I sit on the bed next to her and remove my shoes. She doesn't really look at me or touch me. I'm about to set my hand down on hers, when I stop and pull it back.

I just hurt her feelings.

Hell, that's all I've been doing.

And that one side of Helen that she used to keep out all the time when we first met— that tough as stone, walked off heart- has come back.

That's the side I probably dislike the most.

Because she puts it up when she thinks she needs to protect herself.

When she sees no option of hope or peace.

When I open my mouth or don't during something meaningful and important.

"How was your day?" She asks me as if she's not bothered by my silence.

"Long...too long actually."

"Why? Big cases?"

"No...my day just seem very long when my favorite doctor isn't there." I try being sweet, but I doubt she accepts it. Most days she doesn't because she feels it's in genuine.

Despite how much I mean what I say.

"Aw...you should tell Vijay that. I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

Just like I thought.

"I meant you." Of course she knew that.

It just means very little to her because those are words. Words that anyone could say to charm her.

Bravely placing my hand on her stomach, I gently rub over it and she seems to still underneath my touch.

"Well...aren't you sweet." She says slightly bland.

Like I said.

They're just words to her.

"How was your day? Not boring I hope." I move my hand more towards her lap. I wanna feel him kick. I want to remember that feeling of a tiny being letting the world know they are there. Scooting down the bed and laying on my side, I try to feel different spots to feel him kick.

But he never does.

"Lucky, Luna got to feel the baby kick. Are you being shy today, Baby? Hmm?" I ask as a press a few kisses to her bare stomach. "Just one little kick for me."

"He's probably just sleeping. He moved around a lot today." Helen says and I smile and look up at her- crushed that I didn't get to feel him kick yet.

"Were you dancing inside Mummy? Hmm? You moving for her?" I ask and leave a few more kisses.

"Well he actually started moving for Cassian. Kept kicking to find his hand for a good hour and a half. It was..."

"C...Cassian was here?" He got to feel the baby move first? When was she going to tell me this?

"Yeah...I told him we needed to talk and he stopped by."

"And you told him?"

"Of course.