Finally

Part 42: Find Me

It's frustrating.

Finding new employees that will make your hospital grow and evolve into something better than it already is.

It took forever finding Adrian and now I have to start all over again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy he is working his life out with Emily and his son.

He's growing up that extra little bit that he'd been missing.

But still.

Now I have to find someone new.

"How's the search?" Helen enters my office after her morning rounds and smiles softly as she hands me a coffee cup.

"Hard. Not rolling as smoothly as I would have liked. All these candidates either have no character with no significant drive to them. Or, they are only looking for a temporary position- to simply get the experience so they can move to their more desired hospital or family practice." Groaning, I lean back in my chair and sip the overly hot beverage- nearly burning my tongue beyond repair. "Fssss....that is fire."

"Glad you like it." She smiles softly as she drinks her water.

"No- not fire as in good. Fire as in I need a skin graph."

"Haha, sorry about that. I haven't had coffee in so long, I forget how hot it can be- I suppose." Coming around, she leans against the edge of my desk and Levi is swaddled close to her chest using that long wrap.

"It's alright. Just gonna let that cool for a bit." Running my tongue across the roof of my mouth several times, I set the drink down and rub her left hip. "How's everything going today?"

"Decent. Vin has been sleeping most of the morning- so not many distractions."

"And you?"

"Have I been a distraction to myself? Only to you my darling."

"No, haha- I mean yes- you are a distraction- but I meant how are you." Smiling- knowing exactly what I had meant the first time- she sighs and shakes her head slightly. Her eyes gazing away from mine and towards the door. "What? Helen, what's wrong?"

"I...I had a moment...or two."

"Yeah? Are you okay?" All she can do is nod and I notice her tears coming up in her eyes. "Helen...baby- it's alright."

"I just want it to stop..." Taking both hands, she wipes her eyes and avoids my gaze.

"I know, Baby. I know. But it takes time. You know that. You will be alright. I have you." Holding her the best I can without squishing Vincent between us- I kiss her face all over and rub her back. "We'll be alright."

"What if...what if patients start...start thinking I can't...can't take care...of them...?" She gasps and chokes on her tears. It breaks my heart seeing her like this.

"They won't. They know you. They love you. You're still you- Babe. You have to remind yourself that this is just a hurdle we're stretching to jump over."

"What? Haha....what kind of...saying is that?" Laughing a bit through her tears, she wipes her eyes as she looks at me.

"It's a Max saying. If you fail to try something new- it's your own damn vault...." I wag my eyebrows up and down and she rolls her eyes.

"You're ridiculous."

"But I got you feeling better. Didn't I?"

"Yes...you did. I love you, Darling."

***

"So, I'm pregnant."

The words drop from her mouth like a leaky faucet.