Finally

Part 19: To Fear The World Is To Live

He's going to lose me.

That's what Marlene told him.

He has nightmares about it.

So he must believe it's fatal.

"Max..." Placing a hand on his forearm, I look deep into his eyes pleadingly.

"You...you're always just hidden...where I can't see you and there's always..." He has to stop and compose himself- his fears to hard to come to terms with. "So much blood and I can't ever get to you. I can't ever help or...or be with you."

A tear slides down my cheek as I observe him breaking down. Crawling over top of him, I straddle his legs and press small kisses onto his face. His arms wrap around my torso and hold me close to him. Small quakes roll through his body and I can't help but feel horrible about it.

After all, I'm the cause for them.

"Shhh....it's alright, Darling. You're alright. I have you." Pressing more kisses on his face, I feel the baby kicking and I can't help but smile. "Here...feel him."

Taking his hands, I place them on my stomach and he slowly calms down.

"I don't want you to worry. I'm fine. The baby is fine. We have you, Max. That's why I know I'll be alright."

Staying like this for nearly hours, we eventually find our calm and I can't help but become curious.

"Where's Luna?"

"With Gwen. She asked if she could stay in town for a while. So she's living with me at the moment. I guess being home right now is just very hard for her—and I can hardly blame her for feeling that way."

"Well, I'm glad she's being cordial while keeping her mind off her late husband."

"Yeah. I was leaving this morning, and I was about to sneak out of the house because I heard her crying in my room...but I could bring myself to leave her like that- so I went and sat with her for a few moments. Made me very late to work."

"And then I called you." I apologetically say and cast my face downward."

"Don't be like that, Love. I will always drop what I'm doing for you. Serious or silly reasons- I'm there." My cheeks heat up and I push my face into his neck and leave small kisses there- embarrassed by his sweetness. "Why are you acting so shy all of a sudden?"

"I'm not." I lie and his finger tickle my sides causing me to jump a bit. "Haha stop! I might wee on you!!"

"Shit...please don't. I'll stop." He removes his hands quickly and looks at me cautiously.

"Thank you." I say and lean forward to lay onto his chest. His hand hold the sides to my waist, while his thumbs massages the sides of my stomach.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. I'm just glad we're here finally."

"Me too. Going to have a home together. A small family. I'm excited." His voice lightens and I can hear his daydreaming. "I wouldn't ask to be anywhere else."

Wow.

If that isn't a heartbreakingly sweet statement.

"Me either. I love you."

***

Walking into work this morning, is like walking into a long forgotten world.

Though it has only been a month and a half, I feel as if my absence from the Dam has been longer.

Or.

Maybe this feeling is simply because I have never entered work hand in hand with Max.

It's odd in the best of ways.