Finally

Part 48: Revival Of Life Can Mean Death

It took me a while to realize what Helen had meant.

The deep bothersome feelings of betrayal do not yet remove themselves from my mind, yet I am trying very very hard to do so.

As if by some good graces though, I found the death certificate for Georgia. It brought very little emotion when I held it in my hands. As though the truth of her infidelity has left me caring less and less about her overall removal from this world.

That isn't truly fair though.

Now is it?

She was unfaithful- true.

A snake in the grass.

But in the end...she had wanted closure.

Forgiveness...I suppose.

Why else write a letter to me?

However, she has marred my outlook on several things.

Luna- who innocently and undoubtedly isn't mine.

Helen- who lied to me and kept something so drastic and life changing from me.

And Georgia herself.

A woman I held in such high regards and loved so deeply and dearly- now reborn in death a liar and cheat- a deceitful harlot.

It's unfair.

"Hey, Man! You wanna wake up before you catch the house on fire?" Adrian nudges my arm hard as I stand over the now burnt burgers I was cooking on the stove for supper.

"Sorry..." I stammer and he brushes it off before pouring a glass of mulled wine in two glasses.

"You alright? I know my presence can have that effect on people- dream like states of..." As per usual, his egotistical joking takes shape and yet is quickly stopped by his girlfriend.

"Disgust, I'm sure. Leave him be and go set the table." Emily smiles and ushers him away. "I heard...about the letter. Thin walls and all. If I were you- which I'm not- I would just let dead dogs lie and move on to brighter pastures. No need to dwindle on what can't be undone."

"How could she lie to me."

"Sometimes we lie to protect those we care about."

"No- Helen. How could she keep that from me."

"You we're sick. You lost the woman you loved. Had to become a single father who was dealing with grief- if she ended up forgetting to tell you- maybe it was to simply spare you...Or maybe it was all just in hopes that it wasn't real. Helen undoubtedly loves you. Don't let this fester and ruin something meaningful. People often try to protect those they love in some of the most curious ways. Like Adrian. Pushed me away because he didn't think I could leave my own my family. Leave my job. Was 'protecting' me the best he could- when really he was protecting himself because that's how he keeps his heart from opening up to people. So he doesn't have to lose anyone...or experience anything other than a minimalist life. Move. Keep moving. It'll protect him- that's his thoughts. Helen...in a way—did the same for you. Keep you moving forward so that the past won't hurt you. Unfortunately, the past has a funny way of catching up and pain always finds away to make itself known. Don't hold it against her. Don't change how you love people or who you love based on someone's decision to protect you in possibly the only way they knew how."

With that, Emily runs a hand over my bicep- a soft friendly gesture of comfort, before taking the skillet of burnt burgers from me and nodding for me to remove myself from this station.

Taking her nudge, I slowly meander out of the cooking area and over towards the living room where Lauren and Iggy discuss their own things.

"Have you seen Helen?" I quietly ask and they nod to the upstairs. Nodding in thanks, I head that way and slowly climb the steps to find her. We've been at opposites sides of the home for the last few hours. Partly because I agreed to make dinner and partly because I wanted space and she internally knew that.