Finally

Part 32: Hold On To What You Have

What was that?

I mean- the person who has longed for a child- dismisses him.

Rejects him.

She acted as though just the touch or sight or him would set her on fire.

I don't understand at all.

Now I know I had been avoiding seeing her all day- worked with different patients and visited the Palliative Ward, but I was just so lost in that depressive state that I needed a moment or two to find myself.

I'm no where near my 100%.

Which I believe is understandable considering everything.

But that doesn't mean I don't still love Helen.

It certainly doesn't mean I am rejecting her child.

I'm coping.

I'm still finding myself.

"Max- why do you have Helen's baby?" Adrian growls slightly.

"He was crying and I tried to give him to her and she told me to take him. I mean- take him take him. She didn't want to hold him or anything. She just had a freak out." I say as calmly and cool toned as possible. He furrows his brows and pushes passed me to head to Helen's room. I follow behind him and try to level my head before flipping out on him.

Today he has acted higher than everyone. Above his senior doctors.

He needs to get off of his high horse before I push him off.

Walking into Helen's room, we find her clutching her chest and crying. She looks clammy and is in cold sweats. Her complexion is very pale and sickly. She didn't look that way moments ago.

She didn't.

Did she?

"Helen, what's going on? What's wrong?" Adrian asks as he puts his stethoscope on and prepares to listen to her heart.

"Don't touch....don't touch..." She cries and pleads with him.

"Does your heart hurt?"

Duh.

"Everything....everything hurts..."

"Max, put the baby down and help me." He demands and a part of me wants to refuse because I don't take orders from a child- but I know I can't. Placing the baby in the bassinet- I go over and her opens up her gown after gently persuading her to remove her hands. Upon opening it up, we find pus and drainage leaking from her sutures on her chest. "She's septic. We need fluids and—."

"I know!" I yell slightly and hurry to gather the supplies from the medicine closet. On my way back, I hear the worst sound in the world.

Flatline.

Three nurses go running into her room and I run down the hall faster. I get into the room and Adrian is already hard at work. One of the nurses have grabbed the AED and has begun setting it up.

I can hardly breathe.

This can't be happening. It can't be.

"MAX! Help or get out!" Adrian yells and everything for me just goes black.

***

"Max? Max?!" Blinking my eyes, I see the light flooding in.

Sitting in a chair in the hallway, I have no memory of coming here.

Or sitting down for that matter.

"Max!" Looking up at Reynolds, he had his hand on my shoulder and a concerned look on his face. "Are you here?"