Finally

Part 29: Deck The Halls With Epiderals

"Shit." Gripping the edge of the sink, I feel a huge painful wave roll through my body.

I've been having them all night and unfortunately I'm starting to believe these aren't Braxton Hicks.

"Helen..." His meek voice calls softly and curiously from the bedroom, but I don't hear him approach.

Good.

Arsehole.

Keep your distance.

"Mhm....don't do this baby boy...not right now..." I quietly plead to him. All I wanted to do was go to the Lou and then take a shower. I've been overly hot all night due to the fact that there is another body in my bed and the one growing inside me: I am an over heating oven about to combust.

The pain subsides and I go and sit on the toilet, hesitant to actually use it, but I remind myself that if I refuse to use it now, the chances of an accident later are greater than normal.

"Helen?"

Ignoring him, I wipe and it feels...different.

Odd different.

Extra wet than a normal wee.

Looking at the toilet paper, I sigh heavily.

A decent sized clear- yellow glob with bits of blood in it lay drooping over the paper and I inwardly groan.

"Dammit...I said not now." I growl to myself.

Around the corner, Max enters quietly and his eyes widen at the side of what I'm holding.

"Is... is that your...your mucus plug?"

"It would seem so, now wouldn't it."I grumble and put it in the toilet before standing up and flushing. Going to wash my hands- I just wish he would leave me alone. I wanted him back desperately, but he's been nothing but a prat.

"You're only 31 weeks though..."

"Yes, I know that." I snap and his face contorts in the mirror.

"Helen, why are you..."

"What?! Upset? Angry? Disappointed with you?!" I turn the water off and face him. I can feel the heat in my body rise and I notice him paling. "I sent out searches for you! I prayed to go to bring you home to be safely! I get what I asked for- but instead of being mindful and loving: you've been distant and cruel. I understand your guilt for what happened to Cassian. I understand that mentally- you are not all here. But for you to say you don't know what we are implies you really don't want this relationship to continue. And the fact that you said you wanted a place to run to: gives me very strong doubts that I will have your support. This isn't your child. I know that. There is nothing I can do to change that. Yet I thought you actually loved me enough to stand by me during all this."

He says nothing and I feel another contraction hit- just a tad harder this time. Gripping the sink counter I grit my teeth and close my eyes briefly. When I open them as the pain take a bit longer to leave- he steps towards me.

"Don't..." I growl. He stops moving. "I don't need anything from you."

With the contraction passed, I walk passed him and feel hot tears slide down my cheeks. Whether he meant all that he said last night or not- it still hurts and bothers me so.

Maybe I'm being dramatic, but at this point in time I don't care.

Going to my dresser, I pull out a pair of maternity yogas, new undergarments and a sweater. With my mucus plug gone, labor could be in a couple of hours, days, or possibly even a week or two. As a doctor, I know that these contractions can just continue as small ones until my the baby is actually ready to arrive.