It all started with a game

Chapter 24.1

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
~Anais Nin

A/N
Happy birthday to @dontaskidrk!!! Here is an extra chapter since it is your birthday.

Above is the banner for the whole series, the other two books are finished and they are stand-alones so if you're looking for something else to read.

Chapter 24.1
Ryder's POV
I tossed the stress ball up in the, catching it in my hand as I stared at the ceiling. I'd been here since Beatrice left, which was about three hours ago. Sitting in a quiet room with my thoughts for three hours was not as therapeutic as it sounded.

Mateo swung the door to his room open, finding me laying on his bed. His eyebrows drew together, though he shouldn't be too surprised that I'd taken refuge in here. The amount of times he's camped out in my room because his room reminds him too much of Maria should tip him off as to why I'm laying on his bed instead of mine. "Not that I care that you're in my room but is there a reason?" He asked, already knowing there must be.

I sighed, my voice monotonous. "My bed smells like Beatrice."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I think she cheated on me."

Mateo's eyes widened.

I continued. "And I had sex with her. And I told her I loved her, in that order." I let out an annoyed laugh. "Oh yeah, and she yelled at me for sleeping with other women for a while then called me a man whore, said she didn't need me and threatened to sleep with someone else." I stared at Mateo. "That was was all before the sex, in case you were wondering."

It took Mateo a second to find his words. "Wow."

"Yep. How's your life?"

He shrugged. "Well, my grandpa's dead so, probably about as good as you."

Great. So I missed the death of one of the few people I could call family so Beatrice could call me a man whore.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of everything else that happened last night aside from the fight. Those part were good, those part were great, but once she was gone and I was left alone to my thought, I couldn't help but dwell on the argument.

Mateo flopped down on the bed beside me. "You really had sex with her?"

"Yep. It was kind of hard to focus on the fact that she slept with another guy when my head was between her thighs so..." That wasn't the reason I slept with her, I knew it, Beatrice knew it, even Mateo knew it.

"Not a mental picture I needed," Mateo snorted. "Are we gonna skip over the part where you said you loved her or...?"

"Technically I didn't say it. I drew it on her back and she couldn't guess what I wrote." I, unlike Mateo, could not cry about my feelings because that would mean actually having to feel them and at the moment my main concern was feeling nothing.

"Oh, so she has no idea?"

"Exactly."

"Does this mean you lost the game?"

"I think so." Who would have guessed? This whole thing was my idea and yet I was the one who ended up with a gaping wound.

"Who did she sleep with?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I told her not to tell me. It was probably Marx Jacobson or something." I bet she didn't make those little breathy sounds when she was with him like she did with me.

"Damn."

It shouldn't matter, right? It was just sex. It's not like she has feelings for him. I shouldn't be upset, should I? I mean she said she was falling for me, me not him. She spent the entire night with me, not him. So it shouldn't matter that she slept with another guy, or called me a whore. It was just sex, nothing more.

But the thought of another guy's hands on her, touching her, making her say their name like she says mine, that was nauseating.

"I haven't slept with anyone since we've been together. I haven't slept with a single person other than her." I tried to defend myself.

"I know."

So why didn't she? How could she not know that? "I haven't even looked at another girl." I paused. "Okay, I might have at the beginning but we weren't actually dating then, it was just a game then." I ran a hand through my hair. Maybe it was still just a game to her. Maybe this was all just a game. "She said she was falling for me." I whispered, covering my eyes with my hands.

"Before or after the sex?" Mateo rolled his head over to look at me.

"Before."

I should just forget about all of it, the fight. I should leave things well enough alone. For all I know, she could have just gone home, maybe she didn't sleep with another guy. She was hurt and upset, I'm sure she didn't mean what she said. I should just leave it alone and take what I can get, enjoy what we have right now while it lasts.

Mateo nodded, taking everything in and laying beside me for comfort. "You're really in love with her?"

I almost didn't want to answer him, because answering him made it real and I didn't want it to be real. But I needed it to be before I drove myself insane keeping all of this trapped in my head. "Yeah, I am."

"Maybe she didn't cheat. And it's Beatrice, I doubt she meant the things she said, she's a sweetheart, you know that. She'd never, in a good mindset, purposely hurt you. Plus she said you're the one she likes," Mateo tried to comfort me but I could tell he didn't believe it himself.

"Right."

I have never had sex with someone and enjoyed it before Beatrice, that should mean something, right? Maybe she didn't sleep with anyone, and maybe she only said those things because she was hurt by what her father had done, and maybe she meant it when she said she was falling for me. Maybe she does love me too.

Or maybe she did sleep with someone else, and maybe she meant what she said and maybe she only said she was falling for me so she could win the game. And maybe she wasn't bad at that drawing game and she really did know what I wrote but didn't say it because she doesn't love me back.

I groaned. "I don't know what to do."

"Skip town for a week, wallow in your feelings, then come back and pretend nothing happened," Mateo suggested our go to.

"I don't think that'll work this time." I paused, changing the subject, "When's the funeral?"

His voice was low. "Wednesday." There was a long breath of silence. "Our lives are pretty messed up, aren't they."

You could say that again.

A/N
Hi lovies!!
What did we think?

Im not a terrible fan of this chapter, which is why it is super short.

Are we liking the way the story is going?

Random question of the chapter: what is your favorite holiday?

Lots of love,
Rachelle <3