SHERLOCK STRANGE IMAGINE

Dinner? [S.H] (male reader

sherlock heard your voice before he entered the apartment, and he could faintly smell cologne that was neither his nor john's.

you were leaning comfortably on the couch, your arm along the back and your leg up on the cushion. you were on the phone, john was waiting patiently.

"yeah, i'll call you back, mum. okay. have fun in jamaica. be careful, though, i don't want you to get skin cancer or something. you came back from bora bora looking like a nut! yeah, i think you'll send pictures whether i want you to or not," you laughed. "love you too."

sherlock hung up his coat, regarding you. you were adequately aesthetically pleasing, and appeared comfortable in their home.

"you two seem familiar with each other," sherlock said to john in passing. "how come i've never been introduced? i'm surprised we haven't worked together yet."

john furrowed his eyebrows. "you and (y/n)?"

"him being a detective and all."

you smiled, surprisingly easily, and leaned forward. "i should've guessed you'd deduce me."

john shook his head. "sherlock, don't-"

"i don't mind. i think it's interesting," you said.

sherlock tilted his head. "if you insist. you were raised in a middle class family with moderate wealth."

"why do you think that?"

"your top teeth are completely straight but the bottom set is minutely crooked. hence, braces. either your family paid for them or one or more parents had a good job with adequate benefits. the call with your mother was quite telling as well. you have a close relationship, and it's a normal occasion for her to retreat on vacations, which is quite the privilege." he put his hands behind his back and began pacing slowly.

"considering your friendly, easygoing, and charming demeanor-and because you're generically attractive-you've been quite popular in most settings since you were a young man, perhaps all your life. i presume you're friends with many people at the precinct, even tolerating anderson, but haven't got many close confidants. but, that's typical for a people pleaser."

"you have three tattoos, and they are all meaningful. there's a date on your arm, a black heart, and a woman's name. perhaps you have a girlfriend-not a wife considering the lack of a ring-to whom those are dedicated to. you have black, brown, and white cat hairs on your clothing, suggesting you most likely live alone. perhaps you're resistant to commitment."

"the hickey on your neck, however, and the slight tan lines, tell me you've recently been on vacation, presumably with said girlfriend."

"moving on; the marks and scabs on your leg suggest drug usage, but you appear to be clean. considering your relationship isn't as serious as i primarily suspected, perhaps the tattoo isn't a date to represent your girlfriend, but to show the amount of time you've been clean?"

sherlock opened his mouth to continue, but stopped with narrow eyes at the sight of your suppressed laughter. even john was hiding a smile behind his hand.

"what?" he said sharply.

"believe me," you said, "i don't doubt your abilities, but this was not a great showcase of your skills."

sherlock looked to john, who shook his head. "i'm sorry sherlock. but i've never seen you be so wrong."

he furrowed his eyebrows. "john, move." he squeezed onto the couch, forcing john to stand and roll his eyes. "what did i get wrong?"

"you were right about my family. but i wasn't a "popular young man". i don't have a girlfriend. i wasn't on vacation. and i've never injected drugs in the way you're assuming. i do live alone and have cats, though."