Guilty Pleasures [Completed]

Chapter 11

Warning: Matured Content
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A loud exhale escaped my mouth and let the fresh air blew my hair as I let it dance alongside the wind. Winds are cooler when it's midnight. I should probably plan a veranda on my room.

I hugged myself and rubbed my own arms, feeling the chill of the air. I'm wearing my sleeping clothes now but I still can't sleep.

It's been a week since I told Armin to forget what happened to us. He started avoiding me as well whenever I go to the cafe. I'm supposed to be glad. But the guilt I am feeling always resonates me whenever I think about it.

I'm supposed to feel guilty for my own husband. I'm supposed to get mad at myself because I don't feel anything but pity towards myself.

Letting Eren cheat behind me while I, myself suffers for the big mistake I did. What Armin said few days ago rang like a bell to me. That he'd let me use him just because Eren's cheating on me.

It's not the right thing I should do but I can't sweep it away from my mind.

I stayed for a few minutes, glancing at Armin's dark house. I haven't seen him for a while. It's like I've always felt like seeing him. His name alone would make me turn my head.

I should confront Eren first but my mind was filled with Armin's voice and warmth. I hated it but it's not bad if it felt good for me..

..isn't it?

I stood up, giving another look at his house before turning around to go inside. A hand suddenly gripped my wrist, stopping me to do so. I was gonna scream for help when they covered my mouth and made me face them, pinning me on the closed front door.

"Y/N, It's me."

My heart that was beating rapidly, afraid that it was a kidnapper or something. But to my relief, I was covered with Armin's scent. His eyes that glistens on the light, towering me.

"Armin." My voice softened as he placed his hands down, sliding on my arms. "You scared me. I thought I was gonna get kidnapped."

I didn't got a reaction from him. His bangs was covering his dark eyes that made me unable to see them clearly. He's also reeking alcohol.

"Have you been drinking?" I peeked on his eyes. His face was flushing down to his neck. My eyes widened when he gave a pout, a tear almost escaping out his left eye.

Huh..?

His lips was shaking. He didn't withdraw his stare at me. Now it's really visible how a single tear rolled down on his cheek.

HA?! WHAT THE..

"H-Hey--" My heart beats rapidly when he leaned his head on my shoulders. "HEY, WHAT DID I DO?!" I furrowed my brows, squeezing his soft arm. His breath on my skin makes it tickly but I was too preoccupied of the situation.
"Armin--"

"I'm sorry." He cried with his shaky voice. I froze when his hands wrapped on my waist, stroking my back with his hand.

SHIT.. WHAT?

"I really tried.. getting rid of it." His voice was hoarse as he talk. "I tried forgetting about it." He paused and hiccuped. "But I really can't. It's hard, Y/N."

What's hard?

My heart throbbed, never actually getting what he meant. He leaned off and stared at my eyes. He cupped my cheeks, tracing it with his thumb.

"It hurts here." He grabbed my hands, placing it on his chest. "Avoiding you.. is hard, Y/N."

"I.." I looked away and sighed. "..never said you should avoid me." I whispered. He grabbed my chin, pulling it back to face him. "You were the one who just avoided me."