Guilty Pleasures [Completed]

Chapter 20

"Y/N."

I felt someone tap my shoulders. I groaned and turned on the other side but they're shaking my shoulders hardly, trying to wake me up.

"Y/N, wake up."

"What?" I answered Sasha's gentle voice. She kept tapping me so I snapped my eyes open and whined. "What...?"

"The door." Her eyes are still closed, covering herself with a comforter. I hummed and just realized that someone kept knocking at the door. I stretched my arms and yawned before standing up, leaving Sasha in the bed alone.

Annie's nowhere to be found in the bed anymore. When I opened the door, I was immediately dragged out of the room. My sleepiness went away when Eren pulled my arms.

"Eren.. What the hell?" I pulled my hands from him to stop from walking. "What do you want?"

"It's five. You had enough sleep now. Can we talk properly?" He looked back at me. I groaned and let him drag me on our bedroom. I even walked passed Jean who looks like he just woke up, brushing his teeth.

When we reached our bedroom, he let go of my hand as I sat on the bed and looked up to him with furrowed brows. I grabbed a pillow to hug it.

"Y/N, last night--"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Here we go again." I mumbled and lifted a brow. "Alright. You didn't mean to force me, I get it. Should we just forget about it, Eren? I don't care anymore."

"It's not like that." Eren clicked his tongue and brushed his long hair. "Will you hear me out and answer me?" He said furiously. I averted my gaze and rolled ny eyes. "Who told you about Violet and me?"

"It doesn't matter." I said calmly. "And even if it does, do you think I will tell you?" I said. I can't tell him that I got that information from Jean. It might be better if I just keep it to myself or rather tell that I was the one who caught them.

"Eren, even if we keep talking again and again. Will it change the fact that we cheated? No." I answered my own question. "You have the rights to be mad. But don't question me if I refuse you over and over." I explained. He sighed and palmed his face.

"So, it's true then?" He asked. I didn't answered him but his heavy breathing was all I heard in the room. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. I shook my head breathed stressfully.

"Our apologies will never solve it, Eren. I was mad when you chose Violet over our anniversarry. If you really liked Violet, then file me a divorce--"

"I can't." He shook his head. His voice shook as he knelt infront of me that surprised me. He held my hand and squeezed it.

"What are you doing?" I asked, twitching my eyes and pulled my hands from him.

"Think of anything but not divorce." He said in monotone. "I'll apologize, how many times you want. I'll do it. I know what I did was wrong--"

"You just realized?" I raised a brow. "I turned blind eye with it. I let you say offensive words to me eventhough I am your wife."

"What about you then?" He raised his head. "You were cheating on me, you conffessed. Why do I feel like I was the only one at wrong? Shouldn't I be confronting you?"

"Now, you're blaming me?" I chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, I cheated. So what? If I apologize right now, will you stop screwing Violet for me?" I asked but he didn't answered. "See? If I apologize right now, you won't stop seeing Violet. Don't expect me to do the same thing--"

"Weren't you cheated just because you wanted my attention?" He cut my words off. "You were longing for me that'a why you did it." He said and stood up. He grabbed my chin and made me look at him. "Should we start again? I'll stay with you and you break up with him."

The audacity.

"Let's stop discussing this issue--"

"Why couldn't you do it? If I tell you I can break up with Violet, will you do for me too?"

"Shut it." I said hardly and slapped his hand away from my chin. "I can do whatever I want with myself. He's the only one who can give me comfort when you can't. His words means so much to me. His presence, his attention.. I like all of them."

How is he expecting me to break up with Armin. In fact, we're not even in a relationship.

"You just admitted it, Y/N." He grinned sarcastically. "You're just using him because of things I can't give you. Once you obtain those from me, you'll be breaking up with him--"

"I won't."

"You will, Y/N." He said. "You will because you don't actually like him. You just like his touch and his attention but not the him--"

"Will you shut the fuck up?!" I stood up and threw the pillow, huffing in annoyance. "I don't own you, you said. That goes the same way for me!" I yelled madly and pushed him as I slammed the door closed.

My chest were rising in his stupid words as I walked around the house without a destination. I felt mad and frustrated. It's not true at all.

I'm just using Armin for those stuffs? What a nonsense. I'm with Armin because I like him.

That's right.

I like Armin because he is himself. Not because he can fulfill those stuffs that Eren can't give me. That's not it at all--

I froze when I stopped in a kitchen. Armin probably heard my footstep while he was cooking breakfast when he turned around. He smiled at me and was about to approach.

"Y/N--"

I immediately turned around and ran away from the kitchen.

What if Eren's right? That can't be true at all.

I hate this mixed feelings. I want this doubt and guilt to vanish. I don't want to be unsure of my own feelings. I hate being confused.

"Y/N!"

I heard Armin's footsteps followed me. I wiped the tempting tears, wanting to escape my eyes and saw a bathroom so I opened the door and was about to slam it close but Armin caught the handle and stop me from doing so.

"Y/N, what's the matter?"

My eyes widened and there, I just realized, my knees are in weak state. His innocence made me want to fall on my knees and apologize.

I grabbed the door handle and gripped it but Armin went inside the bathroom and closed the door behind us. He even locked it and I just found myself inside his arms.

I couldn't help my tears flowing from my eyes as I buried my head into his chest and gripped his clothes. Armin stroked my back and consoled me.

"Y/N, what happened?"

I shook my head and let myself cry on his chest.

I'm afraid that what Eren said is true.

That what if I'm just using Armin because I felt frustrated that Eren cheated on me. What if I'm just making excuses to be with Armin because I hated Eren for cheating behind me.

What if my feelings isn't true as it seems to be?

I really like Armin. But in my situation, it's hard to understand. Armin might be thinking that I'm just using him for myself.

But in the end. Everyone knows that I'm married to Eren.

"I'm sorry.." I whispered and sobbed on Armin. He didn't talked but I felt him kiss the top of my head. Armin brushed my hair and let me cry on him.

"I don't quite understand why you apologized but.. if you and Eren fought. I'll just be right here."

Those words made me cry for more. I don't deserve Armin's kindness.