Chapter 5
Desires
"We should stop everything, right from this moment." I said as a looked into her eyes.
I know that she's not that dump... If that so, I hope that she will easily get my point.
She can't leave me. She was already attached to me.... I already told her not to get attach but she didn't listen. She fell inlove but I didn't.
"Aless, please-"
"Call me, professor Alice." I corrected her.
I can see it in her eyes that she was hurt. Pero kailangan kong gawin. Kailangan kong sabihin para hindi na lumala pa ang nararamdaman niya sa akin.
"Your husband still doesn't even know about us! Bakit kailangan natin tumigil?" She insisted. Halata sa boses na pinipigilan lang niya ang sarili na sigawan ako.
"Rosyll. Stop this now. I don't want to see you anymore." May awtoridad sa boses ko.
Rosyll and I are flings. Hindi talaga sumagi sa isipan ko na magkakafeelings siya sakin.
"Get out." I am preventing myself from screaming.
She's my student and I'm her professor. Una palang, alam ko na mali ito. But I can't just help it. I like girls more than my husband. I wanted girls to satisfy me. Not any man. That's why I agreed us to be flings... Pero sana hindi umabot sa puntong ganito.
My husband can't satisfy me in bed. She's the only one who can't fulfill my desires.
But right now, I wanted everything to stop.
Masama ang mga tingin niya sakin pero hindi ko na inisip pa yun. She composed herself for a few minutes and after that, she took a deep breath. Kalmado na ang kaniyang mukha.
Tahimik siyang umalis sa harapan ako.
As for me, I sat on my recliner share and took a deep breath.
Bumalik ang mga eksenang nangyari kanina sa parking lot. I hope that she's not that girl... I hope that it is not her. I covered my face using both of my palms. I'm in this position for about a few minutes. And when I gained my composure again, I only shrugged away my doubts.
There's no way that it's her... when I came back for her, she's gone. I don't know where she's gone. That's It's really impossible that it's her.
I got home then I saw a bouquet of flowers laying on the bed. It's a bouquet of yellow tulips. Craig knows that tulips is my favorite. Kinuha ko yun at binasa ang nakasulat.
Almost everyday, there will always be a flower in our bed. Hindi niya nakakalimutan. There's always a consistency. Iba't ibang mga flowers ang din ang nilalagay niya doon. Hindi lang tulip.
I smiled a bit when I saw what's written on the paper.
It says that he will come home late. Sa tuwing gagabihin siya ng uwi, hindi niya talaga nakakalimutang ipaalam sa akin.
Tinupi ko lang yun at binalik ulit.
"Yaya sa inyo nalang 'to," Sabi ko sa katulong namin dito sa bahay at inabot ang bouquet na ibinigay ng asawa ko.
It's not that I don't appreciate the flowers he gave for me... I just don't like it. It's my favorite flower but I don't feel like, liking it. Lalo na si Craig ang nagbigay sa akin nun.
Kinikilig sila. Walang emosyon lang akong nakatingin kay yaya. Bumalik ulit ako sa kwarto at umupo sa harapan ng study desk ko.
Ang dami kong iniisip hanggang sa ginabi na, nandito parin ako sa study desk ko.
"You looked stress, what's bothering you?" Then I felt Craig's arms hugging me.
Mabilis kong inalis ang mga braso niya sa balikat ko at nagbusy-busy-an.
"Kids." I simply answered. "Collage students." I answered specifically.
"Do you want me to help?" He asked. He's sincere.
"There's no need. You should go to sleep. I know you're tired." I said.
He didn't listen. Instead, he started kissing my neck. His hands started traveling inside my shirt, trying to unlock my bra but he failed. I didn't let him. I pushed him gently away from me.
I don't want to get intimate at him. The last time that we had sex is when our honeymoon. After that, hindi na nasundan pa yun.
"I don't want it." I told him.
He sighed. He doesn't look disappointed nor mad. His face tells that he is used to it.
Sanay na siya sa ugali ko. Pero kahit ni-isang beses, hindi naman siya nagalit. He understands me. I don't even give a fuck if he have any other woman. I just don't care about him.
Sa papel lang ang kasal namin. At ang totoo, ay hindi ko naman talaga siya mahal. Hindi ko siya papakasalan kung hindi dahil sa magulang ko.
He's unlucky with me, and that's already his problem. Ipaparamdam ko sa kaniya na pagsisisihan niya na pinakasalan ako.
"I'm on the mood right now." He said in a raspy voice.
"Just masturbate." Prangka kong sagot.
Humiga na ako sa kama nang hindi siya tinitingnan. Buntong hininga nalang ang narinig ko sa kaniya.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Heart's Refugee (Completed)
General FictionWhen her first and greatest love disappeared, she promised herself not to fall inlove with someone else. That's why she chose the path of being a nun... in the peak of her career being a nun, she found herself chased by the girl who left her... givi...
