Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 22

"Okay so you're shooting the video for it tommorrow and the day after," my manager told me and I nodded letting him know I was listening but also that I already knew when, where and what we were filming for. "It won't be released for a good..." George carried on talking about details, which again I'd been told at least three times before so I looked out the window zoning out as he went on and on about the director and his ideas. It wasn't that I didn't care, trust me I cared a lot about this song espically considering the meaning it had.

I was nervous about this one. I was nervous about how people would take it and if they'd like it or not, I was nervous about what would be read into it and I was worried about James' reaction to it. Probably by now I should have played him it but I kept putting it off. He wouldn't be annoyed with the song, actually I think he'd be flattered and love it but if...when I played him the song I'd have to be totally vulnerable and open because lyrically that's what the song was. Completely raw. Wonderland did so well and anyone would think so would this single but what if it didn't? What if this song flopped? I was worried about everything crashing down on me, it was me being me but I couldn't help it.

A soft vibration in my pocket snapped me out of my daydream and for a second I zoned back into what George was saying, finding out he'd now moved onto talking about artwork for the cove. After listening to him for a few more seconds I pulled my phone out of my pocket checking the message from James telling me the address of where him and the boys were rehearsing for their tour and I smiled slightly as I typed a quick reply just saying I was still where I was. Of course James replied nearly straight away saying that I needed to hurry up which made me smile a bit more then I should've.

"Sorry Holly am I interrupting something?" my managers voice cut me off and I looked up at him as he frowned at me. "Because I can stop talking if you want."

"Sorry, no," I shook my head reading his slightly annoyed tone. "I was just replying to someone," I slipped my phone away probably looking like I'd been told off.

"Okay," he sighed before squinting slightly. "You have the same look as my daughter gets when she's texting a boy." I looked back at him slightly alarmed. "Okay so I'll take that as you have a new boyfriend." he let out a sigh sounding disappointed with me. "Fine, look do what you want just don't let this get out because people will not like you if you start getting all affectionate with a new guy when to everyone you are hung up on James." I opened my mouth to explain that actually I was with James but then shut it quickly knowing that he'd want us to be open about us.

"I will," I nodded slowly.

"Good," he smiled slightly happy I wasn't putting up any fight for this. "That's best," he said and I nodded agreeing with him. "Anyway..." he sighed clearly having lost his train of thought. "What was I saying?" he asked me.

"Oh you were talking about the video but you've already told me," I answered.

"Oh right," he nodded slowly understanding before bitting his lip thinking about hor to reply.

"Can I go?" I asked him hoping for some approval.

"Sure," he sighed giving in and I smiled slightly before standing up, slipping my bag over my shoulder as I did so before I walked out of the room telling James I was on my way already to go to where they were. I jumped into a taxi not really thinking about anything I was doing until I got outside the building spotting fans outside, which for some reason surprised me. I don't know why I was surprised they were here after all you should never underestimate a teenager who has access to twitter and an entire fan-base because of that.

"Drive around the block again?" I asked the driver and he let out an aggravated sigh before saying a few words under his breath but did drive off leaving me to think. I could get out of the car and face up to it, walk through the crowds of fans but I really didn't want to do that, not now. "James," I whispered into the phone having dialed him for help.