Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 7

"Oh my God," I muttered to myself as soon as I got off stage still hearing cheering from behind me. There was this overwhelming sense of achievement now I'd gotten off stage, I'd done well, I mean clearly I had just from the reaction of the audience. It was just one of those moments that I wish I could live in that moment forever but I obviously couldn't so reality brought me off stage. But then that was it, this almost post-stage depression making my mood fall down a tiny bit even though I was still excited about the performance.

"Well done," someone shouted and I was suddenly being hugged by everyone who was on stage with me as well as others. I think honestly no one expected it to run so smoothly because we didn't know until yesterday that this was even a thing. I'd never even performed the song live on TV, I mean I'd done the tour shows but that's it and they were tiny showcases compared to this. Really what made the difference between performing here today and performing anyother night, in any other place was that I was finally performing as myself, not being someone that I thought people wanted me to be, I was finally acting, dressing, performing as myself.

Once I was finally released from the group hugging, partly because the area this was all happening in was needed for the show, oddly enough. There was still this aura of excitment around me because of the performance. But now that the show was over I started to feel a bit lost, unsure of what to do, I knew there was an aftershow party but I didn't really know if I wanted to go, going to a club seemed weird to me because didn't particularly enjoy it last time. Nevertheless I changed out of my skirt and top hanging them back up on the rack before pulling off the outfit I'd brought with me just in case I choose to go. I slipped on my plain black skirt before putting my red laced crop top which contrasted with the skirt actually going quite nicely together, I'd never have even imagined wearing something like this because it wasn't appropriate, it showed off too much of me but I liked being a bit different, I liked showing off the fact I was a girl really.

"Woah, somebody has defiantly done some growing up," I turned to what was now an open door with Connor standing in it looking at me smirking.

"Isn't that a bit inappropriate?" I raised an eyebrow at him pulling on my shoes.

"Isn't that skirt a bit short?" he asked me grinning and I let out a sigh.

"I dunno Connor what do you think?" I frowned making me let out a laugh shaking his head at me.

"I think we'll have fun tonight," he replied smugly and I just gave him back a confused look. "You're coming to the aftershow thing right?" he asked and I just shrugged picking up my leather jacket and sliping it on so I wasn't freezing tonight. "Oh or are you going to see a guy because that outfit sort of says that you're trying to bed someone." he told me making me let out a small laugh.

"I thought it said more a 'I've finally gone through puberity'," I sighed and Connor simply shook his head at me trying not to laugh.

"You never answered my question," he stood up straighter clearly intrigued about something to do with me. "Do you have a date or are you coming to the afterparty?" he asked me and I frowned a tiny bit at that question.

"I'm going to the afterparty," I answered causing Connor to crack a smile because of it. " No dates or anything because..." I started to say putting my phone in my purse.

"Good, no guys is good," he told me having this smug but happy look on his face as he watched me. "James will be glad your coming." he muttered probably not expecting me to hear it so I continued with what I was doing but started to smile instead of being pouty about James, I didn't need to be sad because James would be happy to see me. I didn't want to read too much into what Connor said but what it felt like was James wanted to see me more and maybe his summer was like mine and was full these confused thoughts and feelings, apart from he wasn't confused about them, he knew how he felt before he left whereas I didn't.