Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 25

The first week was easier then I wanted it to be. I felt like I should be missing him a lot more, as if I should be aching for his touch but I wasn't. Of course the first hours, day even was weird but once I got over the wanting to call him or text him at every weird thing that happened to me because I knew I couldn't I threw myself into working on projects and writing. It's easy write when you're suppressing feelings I suppose and I was sort of doing that, trying to put the missing feelings I had for James to the corner of my mind and pretend that they weren't there.

There was one thing I really missed, other then him in general and that was just having him next to me when I went to sleep. We'd gotten to the point when we'd see each other everyday but that was because we were trying to soak up as much time as we could before he got on the plane. Those were the moments that were stuck in my mind, James not worrying about anything for once, instead he was simply calm and relaxed, not even a bit tense actually. I felt bad that I couldn't bring myself to miss him, I sort of tried to avoid all thoughts of James because the more I thought about him the more I realised that my feelings were a lot stronger then I thought when he left me. It seemed as though the ocean had simply multiplied everything I felt by thousands.

We'd had this schedule of exactly what time we'd be free to call or text. We were too organised with our time it felt almost normal after just over a week, it was easy to fall into the schedule. Hearing his voice did help me a bit but it also made it harder because I couldn't forget what it was like to kiss him or to hug him.

My sleeps were a bit restless for some reason, I wasn't sure why maybe I was anxious about something or excited. Either way I was asleep but very aware of everything going on, so aware that when my phone lit up I woke up but was still a bit dozey because it was 2am.

From James

We have wifi, apparently that means I can test out this thing called skype? ;)

I smiled faintly reading the message before reaching out to the floor where I tucked my laptop underneath my bed thankfully not having shut it down fully so I could open skype up straight away seeing James was online and a call immediately came through.

"Hey," James grinned as soon as I accepted the call.

"Oh my God you have a face as well as a voice," I gasped grinning excitedly despite feeling tired.

"I could say the same for you," he let out a small but still warm laugh and I played with the sleeves of my pajama top.

"Well I've had an internet connection," I shrugged smugly.

"Okay I'll give you that," he shook his head smiling still. "Did I wake you up?" he asked studying my face.

"Well yes," I scrunched my roots slightly. "But I'm happy you did," I smiled slightly looking into my rubbish webcam.

"Why's that?" he asked smirking at me.

"Oh I missed your face," I answered bluntly.

"You missed my face?" he let out a small laugh.

"Yeah I don't know why," I smiled faintly. "Must be loosing my mind or something," I smirked running a hand through the ends my hair brushing out some of the tangles.

"Must be," he smiled back at me making a warm feeling in my stomach grow.

"How's everything out there?" I asked looking down at my lap rather then him playing with my hands slightly as I spoke because I felt nervous for some reason.

"Good," he let out a sigh. "Yeah it's all good," he shrugged as I looked up at him. "I did miss seeing you though," he told me and my smile grew slightly.