Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 34

"Holly Parker is here in the studio," Nick Grimshaw announced and simply smiled slightly watching him read something off of a sheet of paper. "How are you Holly?" he looked up at me cracking a small smile as he looked at me.

"Very good," I replied nodding slowly. "Nice to be here again."

"Yeah, it's been a while hasn't it?" he laughed slightly keeping eye contact, which actually put me a little bit at ease because it made me feel as though he wanted to talk to me and I wasn't just some random popstar who no one actually liked but occasionally made good music.

"It has been over a year I think," I nodded still with this small smile on my lips. "Because I was touring when Wonderland was released so I couldn't actually do a real 'press tour' or whatever."

"But surely you would've at least dropped by when My everything was released," he sounded almost disbelieving of me.

"No, no I actually was a bit wary of doing interviews when I released that," I laughed awkwardly as I did my usual habit of running my hand nervously through my hair. "Just because I was aware of what I'd what I'd be asked about and that the time I really wasn't ready to be asked those questions, about my love life and boys, really all I wanted to talk about was the single which I loved but I knew in reality it's never going to be just about the music. Which is amazing 99 percent of the time but I was in the 1 percent why if I was asked this one question I wouldn't actually want to answer." I explained trying to be at the same time subtle about it all and not mention James specifically. "And there was the whole issue of the music video being supposedly controversial and I didn't want to do interviews and people would be like 'you've changed' and stuff."

"Really though you have changed and now you're just such an awful person," he said sarcasm seeping out.

"I know, I'm actually disappointed in myself," I shrugged letting out a sigh making Nick laugh slightly.

"In all seriousness would you say there was been a change of music or character since you last came here?" he asked being fairly interested in what I had to say, again making me feel more comfortable.

"I would say I developed," I answered tilting my head slightly trying to think of how to phrase what I had to say. "I mean as a musician, my music has defiantly matured. I was eighteen and nineteen when I wrote the majority of the songs on my first album and the singles in particular sound so young and now I'm nearly twenty one, the lyrics are more adult, I'm not as scared to experiment with music and styles and now I've found what I like to make I'm more a one style person then all over the place, trying to have a bundle of types." he nodded smiling, letting me know that he understood. "In the past year I've just grown up a lot, I think having to deal with things that were hard and new to me made me a different person, all in the best ways of course." I said fairly firmly.

"Do you think it's reflected in your music, the personality change?" he asked scratching his head slightly.

"Oh definitely," I nodded. "The new album that I'm finishing now is almost a story of going from this silly girl who was so hopeful and soft to a more realistic, experienced women. In the past year I've been in love, been heartbroken, had to deal with all that on tour and then return home before having to deal the fact I was now a known person."

"Yeah you've...erm you have really become a person of interest," he said running a hand through his hair.

"You can say that," I laughed lightly. "I can only be thankful that it happened for my music not because I've really screwed up, I mean at least not yet." I smiled slightly making him laugh a bit.

"So you predict a screw up?" he asked smirking now.

"Oh defiantly," I nodded firmly. "I think I'll have a great love, he'll break up with me and I'll have a mental break down and start wearing all black as a sign of morning."